First the bad stuff. I had a bad dream of triplet females being raped before their first mensus by men of differing races as an experiment in geno-typing and an attempt at breeding controls such as was done in Nazi Germany. Woke me up and I was disturbed by the thought that many of my dreams are like this.
Second, I saw a great movie last night called "Faith Like Potatoes" and I will be looking for it to add it to my library. It's another religious/spiritual/christian style movie such as "Shoes of the Fisherman," "Left Behind," "Flywheel," "Facing the Giants," and "Fireproof." I like those and feel uplifted after watching them. There are many series, also that I like to watch. I don't know all their names, but I sure look for them when I'm surfing the TV late on certain nights.
I also watch 3ABN a lot. It keeps my mind centered on what's really important in my life. While Egypt is in turmoil, it helps me to remember that this is all planned out, even though it's scary.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
State of the Union
I've been asked several times what I thought of Obama's State of the Union Address. I'll tell you the truth, I didn't listen.
The way I figure it, he was hired for 4 to 8 years by the people of this country. At 2 years, there's a "referendum" vote, as Congress and the Senate are shuffled around. That kind of tells him whether we like what he's doing or not. The results were mixed this last election.
Next election, we either vote to keep him another 4 years or we replace him. If we liked what he did, we generally keep him on.
It's like any other temp job. And even not-temp jobs!
I like the attitude expressed in the movie "Dave." It's a temp job. Even if we keep a President on for a full 8 years, it's still a temp job.
So, keep asking, and I'll keep telling you. If my life is better, I like him. If my life is worse, I don't. If I think things will get better if I keep him in office, I'll vote in a way to show my approval. If I'm pessimistic about the future because of his programs and policies, I'll vote against him. It's that simple.
And it isn't just Mr. Obama that I feel this way about. I was this way about the last 4 presidents. Even Mr. Clinton had my input this way. And Mr. Reagan, Mr. Bush and Mr. Bush Sr. I even had my opinions on Nixon and Ford.
So, don't ask me and don't send me e-mails about how good or how bad somebody is in that chair. You aren't in that chair. Whoever is in that chair, in that office, has a lot to think about and a lot to do. I'll tell you how I feel with my vote.
The way I figure it, he was hired for 4 to 8 years by the people of this country. At 2 years, there's a "referendum" vote, as Congress and the Senate are shuffled around. That kind of tells him whether we like what he's doing or not. The results were mixed this last election.
Next election, we either vote to keep him another 4 years or we replace him. If we liked what he did, we generally keep him on.
It's like any other temp job. And even not-temp jobs!
I like the attitude expressed in the movie "Dave." It's a temp job. Even if we keep a President on for a full 8 years, it's still a temp job.
So, keep asking, and I'll keep telling you. If my life is better, I like him. If my life is worse, I don't. If I think things will get better if I keep him in office, I'll vote in a way to show my approval. If I'm pessimistic about the future because of his programs and policies, I'll vote against him. It's that simple.
And it isn't just Mr. Obama that I feel this way about. I was this way about the last 4 presidents. Even Mr. Clinton had my input this way. And Mr. Reagan, Mr. Bush and Mr. Bush Sr. I even had my opinions on Nixon and Ford.
So, don't ask me and don't send me e-mails about how good or how bad somebody is in that chair. You aren't in that chair. Whoever is in that chair, in that office, has a lot to think about and a lot to do. I'll tell you how I feel with my vote.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Not Getting Woken Up! :-D
Well!!! How cool is this! Whatever the guys did in the attic at least moved the alarming watch to another location! I am not hearing it - or it's so quiet that I can sleep through it...
Now remember - this is not a blaring alarm, like my alarm clock! It's a tiny alarm like a watch would make, and it was coming into my room, the center bedroom and was likely located someplace between the two, perhaps over the guest bath.
It may have been on a rafter, so the sound carried.
All the guys from Habitat did, was brush stuff around with a broom. They didn't find it, and it's still up there. They were scratching their heads, trying to come up with a plan to find it. They moved all the insulation around in that quadrant of the house.
But I don't hear the alarm enough to be woken by it! YAY!!!
I'm still falling asleep at work, and at important and inopportune times of the day, but that will slow up and cease, now that I'm sleeping through the night.
And not a day too soon, either. School promises to be very intense for this 55-yr-old woman!
Now remember - this is not a blaring alarm, like my alarm clock! It's a tiny alarm like a watch would make, and it was coming into my room, the center bedroom and was likely located someplace between the two, perhaps over the guest bath.
It may have been on a rafter, so the sound carried.
All the guys from Habitat did, was brush stuff around with a broom. They didn't find it, and it's still up there. They were scratching their heads, trying to come up with a plan to find it. They moved all the insulation around in that quadrant of the house.
But I don't hear the alarm enough to be woken by it! YAY!!!
I'm still falling asleep at work, and at important and inopportune times of the day, but that will slow up and cease, now that I'm sleeping through the night.
And not a day too soon, either. School promises to be very intense for this 55-yr-old woman!
Friday, January 21, 2011
Didn't find the alarm source
The guys from Habitat didn't find the alarm source. They have to try a different tool. Maybe a metal detector? How about a pitch fork or spading fork?
Meanwhile, I can't keep the house if money doesn't turn around, anyway. And I can't concentrate to make money because I can't sleep. A Catch-22.
Maybe it's time for me to give up. Maybe I don't have it in me anymore to keep fighting. It just seems like no matter what I do, I'm hitting a brick wall.
I'm not following God's will, that's all I know for sure.
With God behind me, everything is easy and works. The universe gets behind me and pushes me along to give me speed. I float and fly through things that take others weeks and months to do.
When I'm on the wrong track, I hit wall after wall after wall. School is a wall,the house is a wall, the electric bill is a wall, work is a wall. My health is a wall. Absolutely everything I do right now is twarted.
Except going to meetings. That I can do well.
I'm so tired. I'm so worn out. I need to sleep, and I keep getting woken up.
I qualify by income to have my taxes done for free - but because I need a schedule C, I have to pay $100. I don't have $100 to pay to have my taxes done. I still owe $380 from the last 2 years of having my taxes done. I even qualify for the EIC for the first time in my life!
Yeah, cancer is a bitch. I lost a friend to cancer overnight. I'm lucky my situation was only a scare of cancer. But living with the economic consequences of that is a TOTAL BITCH!!!!!
Meanwhile, I can't keep the house if money doesn't turn around, anyway. And I can't concentrate to make money because I can't sleep. A Catch-22.
Maybe it's time for me to give up. Maybe I don't have it in me anymore to keep fighting. It just seems like no matter what I do, I'm hitting a brick wall.
I'm not following God's will, that's all I know for sure.
With God behind me, everything is easy and works. The universe gets behind me and pushes me along to give me speed. I float and fly through things that take others weeks and months to do.
When I'm on the wrong track, I hit wall after wall after wall. School is a wall,the house is a wall, the electric bill is a wall, work is a wall. My health is a wall. Absolutely everything I do right now is twarted.
Except going to meetings. That I can do well.
I'm so tired. I'm so worn out. I need to sleep, and I keep getting woken up.
I qualify by income to have my taxes done for free - but because I need a schedule C, I have to pay $100. I don't have $100 to pay to have my taxes done. I still owe $380 from the last 2 years of having my taxes done. I even qualify for the EIC for the first time in my life!
Yeah, cancer is a bitch. I lost a friend to cancer overnight. I'm lucky my situation was only a scare of cancer. But living with the economic consequences of that is a TOTAL BITCH!!!!!
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Started School & They Showed Up (?)
Yeah - lets jump to it - Habitat guys showed up, went up into the attic and then I had to take my shower so I didn't find out if they found that D*&)ed Alarm.
I slept on the chair last night, just so I could make it today. I had to start school, with my first class at 9:15. From there I went to work then home to eat. I have KEW (for those not privvy... http://womencreatingwealthonline.com/) and then I get to be home about 10 tonight.
No program stuff today, other than continuing to listen to speaker tapes. Oh, and got a call from somebody who probably will hound me for the next 3 months while she avoids doing what she should do Right Away! to stay sober. Oh well, at least I'm not her. And if she doesn't follow through this time, I'll tell her to quit calling. I'm not going to be her doormat or her excuse. If she wants to stay sober, she will make her amends, it's just that simple.
Next class is Monday evening. I STILL don't have the financial aid and school stuff sorted out! I called again tonight, and it's because the major - that I filed to change 2 days ago, still hasn't been processed. I'm in danger of being dropped from all the classes and having a huge bill because somebody didn't bother to put the change thru.
On top of beginner diabetes, this is not a fun time. Cats are good, though. I guess I can be thankful for that.
I slept on the chair last night, just so I could make it today. I had to start school, with my first class at 9:15. From there I went to work then home to eat. I have KEW (for those not privvy... http://womencreatingwealthonline.com/) and then I get to be home about 10 tonight.
No program stuff today, other than continuing to listen to speaker tapes. Oh, and got a call from somebody who probably will hound me for the next 3 months while she avoids doing what she should do Right Away! to stay sober. Oh well, at least I'm not her. And if she doesn't follow through this time, I'll tell her to quit calling. I'm not going to be her doormat or her excuse. If she wants to stay sober, she will make her amends, it's just that simple.
Next class is Monday evening. I STILL don't have the financial aid and school stuff sorted out! I called again tonight, and it's because the major - that I filed to change 2 days ago, still hasn't been processed. I'm in danger of being dropped from all the classes and having a huge bill because somebody didn't bother to put the change thru.
On top of beginner diabetes, this is not a fun time. Cats are good, though. I guess I can be thankful for that.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Alarm in the Ceiliing
I'm so sick of this! 3:27am!
How would the folks at Habitat like to be woken up like this for 15 months solid!
I can't get any sleep, I'm getting sick! My mental state is ruined, and I'm not a lot of fun to be around.
I've called and been told that this would be addressed. I don't know if I can take it much longer. I'm either going to go crazy or move.
I guess I might as well start packing. I have to leave this house.
How would the folks at Habitat like to be woken up like this for 15 months solid!
I can't get any sleep, I'm getting sick! My mental state is ruined, and I'm not a lot of fun to be around.
I've called and been told that this would be addressed. I don't know if I can take it much longer. I'm either going to go crazy or move.
I guess I might as well start packing. I have to leave this house.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
I want to share this!
There is a really cool book coming out and you can still order it and get a SIGNED copy!
Pre-order your signed, autographed copy of the hottest Success book to hit the shelves in the 21st Century, Conversations with Female Millionaires! You will be notified via email when the book is shipped and it will arrive straight to the address you list below. Your shipping is FREE! Hurry! Supplies are EXTREMELY limited! ONLY $14.95, and you gotta see who's in this book! Every one of the women included Made the money, not inherited it. Truly inspirational women!
Pre-order your signed, autographed copy of the hottest Success book to hit the shelves in the 21st Century, Conversations with Female Millionaires! You will be notified via email when the book is shipped and it will arrive straight to the address you list below. Your shipping is FREE! Hurry! Supplies are EXTREMELY limited! ONLY $14.95, and you gotta see who's in this book! Every one of the women included Made the money, not inherited it. Truly inspirational women!
Monday, January 10, 2011
Snow Day!
There is over 3" of snow on the ground, covering the walks, streets and parked cars. It even drifted a little bit! It's really pretty, but that means that the city is paralyzed again. Good thing I don't have to go out! I called in to work so that I only have to work around the house today.
I think I'll spread some ice-melt on the walks (already swept them with the broom) and work around here today. Maybe even finish that crocheted jacket/coat I've been working on forever! I have to backtrack a little on the construction so that I can properly move forward. Not a big deal, but I hate taking out stitches as much as the next person.
Feeling better, now that I'm sleeping better. Woke at 4:30 this morning, and the cats were all telling me about the snow, so they wouldn't let me get back to sleep. I got enough good sleep to make it, though.
I think I'll spread some ice-melt on the walks (already swept them with the broom) and work around here today. Maybe even finish that crocheted jacket/coat I've been working on forever! I have to backtrack a little on the construction so that I can properly move forward. Not a big deal, but I hate taking out stitches as much as the next person.
Feeling better, now that I'm sleeping better. Woke at 4:30 this morning, and the cats were all telling me about the snow, so they wouldn't let me get back to sleep. I got enough good sleep to make it, though.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Decongestants Caused Sleeplessness....
Well, I changed up my meds, removing the two new ones. I kept the heart stuff the same out of safety. I stopped taking the decongestant I was given for the sinus infection a few weeks ago. I don't normally need a decongestant, and they typically disturb my heart. I also stopped the stuff for heartburn. I wasn't sure which was causing the sleeplessness, but medicines that end with "-dine" tend to have something to do with it.
It turns out that it was the decongestant! The doc assured me I could take this one, that it didn't have the "-D" designation that causes so much trouble. Well, I slept the night through last night, one benedryl so I could ignore my bladder until it was time to get up. I slept 8 hours!
I ate right yesterday, so I wouldn't have the night-time heartburn I typically get, too. It was a struggle, but I have to do that if I'm going to get my insulin-resistance corrected, anyway. I have to change a lot to get that under control!
Yes - I have some pretty interesting health plans to put into effect over the next few months. I'm starting an intense cleanse and de-tox program that will take about 8 months to complete, while complying with a program to reset my insulin/sugar balance. By the end of 2011, I expect my body to show some real changes chemically and physically. I only have a few more items to purchase to get started. About another $100 worth of stuff.
Some of the things I need to get are durable or hard goods, that will stay around for a long time; while others are consumable. One item, I'm still sourcing, and I'm not sure how that will work out yet. It's optional, but recommended for a short time.
Anyone interested in this kind of thing can find information at these two sources:
http://emf.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2001/07/14/insulin-part-one.aspx
and
http://www.drclark.net/
I started with this book:
It turns out that it was the decongestant! The doc assured me I could take this one, that it didn't have the "-D" designation that causes so much trouble. Well, I slept the night through last night, one benedryl so I could ignore my bladder until it was time to get up. I slept 8 hours!
I ate right yesterday, so I wouldn't have the night-time heartburn I typically get, too. It was a struggle, but I have to do that if I'm going to get my insulin-resistance corrected, anyway. I have to change a lot to get that under control!
Yes - I have some pretty interesting health plans to put into effect over the next few months. I'm starting an intense cleanse and de-tox program that will take about 8 months to complete, while complying with a program to reset my insulin/sugar balance. By the end of 2011, I expect my body to show some real changes chemically and physically. I only have a few more items to purchase to get started. About another $100 worth of stuff.
Some of the things I need to get are durable or hard goods, that will stay around for a long time; while others are consumable. One item, I'm still sourcing, and I'm not sure how that will work out yet. It's optional, but recommended for a short time.
Anyone interested in this kind of thing can find information at these two sources:
http://emf.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2001/07/14/insulin-part-one.aspx
and
http://www.drclark.net/
I started with this book:
Friday, January 7, 2011
2:30 - Again!
OK, all you smarties out there----
I went to bed at 10:25 - that's what the clock said. I had the TV on, set for 30 minutes, and didn't watch it. I was out in about 10 minutes. Woke up again at 2:30.
I took a benedryl on top of my normal stuff, so I should have slept the night through. This has GOT to stop!!!!
Tell me why???
I'm so damn tired, I'm a danger on the road.
I went to bed at 10:25 - that's what the clock said. I had the TV on, set for 30 minutes, and didn't watch it. I was out in about 10 minutes. Woke up again at 2:30.
I took a benedryl on top of my normal stuff, so I should have slept the night through. This has GOT to stop!!!!
Tell me why???
I'm so damn tired, I'm a danger on the road.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Can't Sleep
I've been dealing with insomnia again. I haven't had it this bad in a while, though.
I go to bed - or at least take my pills around 11pm every night. Sometimes I take them early, around 10pm. Sometimes I forget and it's 1am! But, as a general intent and practice, I take them around 11pm.
Then, bedtime. Go to bed, turn on TV, set the sleep mode for 45 minutes, and I'm out before the TV goes off.
Lately, while this routine is the same, I'm waking up around 2:30am, and unable to go back to sleep. It doesn't help that the alarm in the ceiling is now going off at 3am instead of 4am, and I'm awake already when it goes off.
After about 30 minutes, I'll get up and take more Melatonin. That helps a little bit, but I never really get back to sleep for that deep, restful, REM sleep that we all need.
I can blame the house - too hot, or too cold. I can blame the cats because they hear me stirring and want to cuddle - and I close them out of the room some nights because of this. I can blame my financial stuff, or whatever. My mind races from 3:30am until the alarm goes off.
Don't get me wrong, I'm dozing, but not really sleeping. The slightest noise, movement of the cats, or the furnace turning on will wake me again.
I'm starting to see rings under my eyes, and I'm getting cranky. Then, I fall asleep in my chair in the evenings, and the cycle just repeats itself.
Today, I have registration at the local community college, so I won't be in my chair. The registration is followed by my normal 1st Thursday women's entrepreneurial group meeting so I won't get home till around 10:30-11pm tonight.
It's a situation where I will have to eat supper out, and the cat's dinner will be pretty late.
I need to leave the heat up a little bit. It snowed overnight, and the temp isn't doing much to defrost us. That's another reason to get a programmable thermostat!
Anyway, this may be my last meeting for a while due to classes, so I need to be there. Besides, the topic tonight is killer!
So, it's a long one today, even though I'm starting to fray at the edges from not getting restful sleep.
No wonder I sleep through the weekends!
I go to bed - or at least take my pills around 11pm every night. Sometimes I take them early, around 10pm. Sometimes I forget and it's 1am! But, as a general intent and practice, I take them around 11pm.
Then, bedtime. Go to bed, turn on TV, set the sleep mode for 45 minutes, and I'm out before the TV goes off.
Lately, while this routine is the same, I'm waking up around 2:30am, and unable to go back to sleep. It doesn't help that the alarm in the ceiling is now going off at 3am instead of 4am, and I'm awake already when it goes off.
After about 30 minutes, I'll get up and take more Melatonin. That helps a little bit, but I never really get back to sleep for that deep, restful, REM sleep that we all need.
I can blame the house - too hot, or too cold. I can blame the cats because they hear me stirring and want to cuddle - and I close them out of the room some nights because of this. I can blame my financial stuff, or whatever. My mind races from 3:30am until the alarm goes off.
Don't get me wrong, I'm dozing, but not really sleeping. The slightest noise, movement of the cats, or the furnace turning on will wake me again.
I'm starting to see rings under my eyes, and I'm getting cranky. Then, I fall asleep in my chair in the evenings, and the cycle just repeats itself.
Today, I have registration at the local community college, so I won't be in my chair. The registration is followed by my normal 1st Thursday women's entrepreneurial group meeting so I won't get home till around 10:30-11pm tonight.
It's a situation where I will have to eat supper out, and the cat's dinner will be pretty late.
I need to leave the heat up a little bit. It snowed overnight, and the temp isn't doing much to defrost us. That's another reason to get a programmable thermostat!
Anyway, this may be my last meeting for a while due to classes, so I need to be there. Besides, the topic tonight is killer!
So, it's a long one today, even though I'm starting to fray at the edges from not getting restful sleep.
No wonder I sleep through the weekends!
Monday, January 3, 2011
Been Dreaming About Mom and Communication
I gave my story at a meeting Friday night (New Year's Eve) and since then I've been having dreams of Mom. As in life, the encounters end in screaming matches, but I've at least not had to wake up that way. I just have the bad feelings and wake, instead of waking up screaming.
As was usual, she didn't understand my words. Maybe that's where I get my communication problems from....
I speak in what I think is plain language, but she read all kinds of stuff into it. When people speak to me, I don't get the missing parts - the emotions and feelings or motivations behind it. Am I missing a piece of something in my head?
I take language for what it is - a way to communicate ideas, plans, requests and thoughts. If emotive words are used, I put the communication into that context. I did well in speech class in school. I can listen and get the meaning of words. I understand what people say when they talk. I can string ideas together in verbal communication and generally not get lost in the string - I don't always have to have it in black-&-white in front of my face in other words. I can follow along with logic or fancy. I can follow the progression and development of ideas.
So why is it that when I communicate with some people, I'm slow on the uptake? Am I trying to or expected to read minds? I don't have that talent. Are others trying to read my mind? I'm lost at that point.
Maybe things will become clearer as I grow older. But I sure wish it would get clearer now! I'm almost 56!
As was usual, she didn't understand my words. Maybe that's where I get my communication problems from....
I speak in what I think is plain language, but she read all kinds of stuff into it. When people speak to me, I don't get the missing parts - the emotions and feelings or motivations behind it. Am I missing a piece of something in my head?
I take language for what it is - a way to communicate ideas, plans, requests and thoughts. If emotive words are used, I put the communication into that context. I did well in speech class in school. I can listen and get the meaning of words. I understand what people say when they talk. I can string ideas together in verbal communication and generally not get lost in the string - I don't always have to have it in black-&-white in front of my face in other words. I can follow along with logic or fancy. I can follow the progression and development of ideas.
So why is it that when I communicate with some people, I'm slow on the uptake? Am I trying to or expected to read minds? I don't have that talent. Are others trying to read my mind? I'm lost at that point.
Maybe things will become clearer as I grow older. But I sure wish it would get clearer now! I'm almost 56!
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