Friday, January 21, 2011

Didn't find the alarm source

The guys from Habitat didn't find the alarm source. They have to try a different tool. Maybe a metal detector? How about a pitch fork or spading fork?

Meanwhile, I can't keep the house if money doesn't turn around, anyway. And I can't concentrate to make money because I can't sleep. A Catch-22.

Maybe it's time for me to give up. Maybe I don't have it in me anymore to keep fighting. It just seems like no matter what I do, I'm hitting a brick wall.

I'm not following God's will, that's all I know for sure.

With God behind me, everything is easy and works. The universe gets behind me and pushes me along to give me speed. I float and fly through things that take others weeks and months to do.

When I'm on the wrong track, I hit wall after wall after wall. School is a wall,the house is a wall, the electric bill is a wall, work is a wall. My health is a wall. Absolutely everything I do right now is twarted.

Except going to meetings. That I can do well.

I'm so tired. I'm so worn out. I need to sleep, and I keep getting woken up.

I qualify by income to have my taxes done for free - but because I need a schedule C, I have to pay $100. I don't have $100 to pay to have my taxes done. I still owe $380 from the last 2 years of having my taxes done. I even qualify for the EIC for the first time in my life!

Yeah, cancer is a bitch. I lost a friend to cancer overnight. I'm lucky my situation was only a scare of cancer. But living with the economic consequences of that is a TOTAL BITCH!!!!!

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