Didn't find the alarm source

The guys from Habitat didn't find the alarm source. They have to try a different tool. Maybe a metal detector? How about a pitch fork or spading fork?

Meanwhile, I can't keep the house if money doesn't turn around, anyway. And I can't concentrate to make money because I can't sleep. A Catch-22.

Maybe it's time for me to give up. Maybe I don't have it in me anymore to keep fighting. It just seems like no matter what I do, I'm hitting a brick wall.

I'm not following God's will, that's all I know for sure.

With God behind me, everything is easy and works. The universe gets behind me and pushes me along to give me speed. I float and fly through things that take others weeks and months to do.

When I'm on the wrong track, I hit wall after wall after wall. School is a wall,the house is a wall, the electric bill is a wall, work is a wall. My health is a wall. Absolutely everything I do right now is twarted.

Except going to meetings. That I can do well.

I'm so tired. I'm so worn out. I need to sleep, and I keep getting woken up.

I qualify by income to have my taxes done for free - but because I need a schedule C, I have to pay $100. I don't have $100 to pay to have my taxes done. I still owe $380 from the last 2 years of having my taxes done. I even qualify for the EIC for the first time in my life!

Yeah, cancer is a bitch. I lost a friend to cancer overnight. I'm lucky my situation was only a scare of cancer. But living with the economic consequences of that is a TOTAL BITCH!!!!!

Blood Pressure went wacky...

I thought maybe it was the stress put myself under, but after careful examination, it seems that it was just too long between doses of my medicine, combined with the stress, that escalated it.

I've decided to try an experiment for a few days before I run to the Docs to fix it...

Take my meds roughly 12 hrs apart instead of on awakening and at bedtime. Sometimes, I have to get up really early, and my days go for close to 20 hours. That's too long between meds, so if I make it a 12 hr cycle, things should calm down.

I'll be doing a 10am-10pm cycle. I get up a lot earlier than that, and I'm often up at least another 2-3 hours at night, so this should work.

If nothing else, it will steady my blood pressure while I'm working through my stressful situation.

I have another 2 weeks to complete a major change in my work life - and with any luck and a lot of determination, it should be completed by the end of this week. I'll have to be on my toes for another 2 months after this, too, so that the habits I create now will become just that - habits.

So, keeping the BP under control really helps. Did I tell you the side effect of bouncing BP??? Emotional insanity. I become a basket case. The little things take on huge dimensions. Everything seems much more important than it really is.

God is in Charge. God knows what God is doing. I don't have to. And my biggest problem today is that I hate change. I hate to make new habits, a detour in my route, my cats acting weird, or running out of something I use all the time. Am I set in my ways? Yes. A resounding Yes! I know what works for me and what doesn't.

The broken parts though - it's so hard to let go of them...

Like an old friend, that broken habit or item takes up time or space in my life. If I let them go, what will happen? I'll be somehow less????

NO~ God always takes things away so that he can make room for something better.

And I am grateful that my life is so full that I have to let things go to "make room" for new things.

God Bless....
Have a good week...

McCain/Palin Ticket vs. Obama/Biden Ticket

How much thought did McCain put into his selection of a running mate? Did he wait till Obama picked so he could pick something opposite? Was he thinking that Obama would pick Clinton?

I think there are few in Washington who have a serious objection to Biden. Biden has a reputation of being level-headed and thoughtful. Maybe not a firebrand or a lively guy - hey I remember the bowties - but he is well liked by everyone. You know who he is and where he stands. He rounds out the Obama ticket nicely.

McCain picked the worst person he could find! He just wanted a woman to catch the female votes lost when Hillary stepped out and then wasn't picked for Veep. What a stupid move! At his age, too! His running mate will likely be President before the first term is up.

This is one of the scariest elections I've ever seen. If McCain/Palin win, I'll have to give up all and move. I don't want to live in a world where people don't think. Some of you may be saying, "Let her!" but think of living under the kind of government that she will bring about.

I live in "Fundamental-Christian-Bible-Belt-Land." A lot of these folks think that "bringing the Lord back" means making the world a horrible place that only Jesus and God can save. What if they are wrong????? What if Jesus/God/Universal Intelligence could care less about the human race????? Do YOU want to take that chance?

For the record, I'm a Christian, too. I just happen to think that we should do our level best to make a world that we and our children would be glad to live in, not the other way around.