Senior Services Website

I'm building a website to network caregivers with seniors in the Tri-Cities area. The annual fee to access the caregiver list is $30/yr. To list yourself as a caregiver or provider is free. I need $500 to set up and start the website.

This is spurred by an article I read in "The Atlantic"  about seniors aging in place. The cost of nursing homes is exorbitant, and most folks don't want to go to one. If we can network providers as outlined in the article, maybe we can help our local seniors.

Please read the article. If you want to donate, any amount is accepted. I'll take down the link to donate once the $500 goal is met.

I'm going to make it like the Knox Country Senior Services Directory (an amazing resource in it's own right!) but put it online for the Tri-Cities area.

One of the points the article makes is that these networks are mostly in urban areas, not suburban or rural areas. So this will be directed toward our semi-rural area of the Tri-Cities.

Drivers, house cleaners, cooks, readers, people who will check on seniors...
Anyone is welcome to sign up as a provider.

How I See the Spirit World

This post will seem strange to some folks. Others may identify with me or find in it a similar worldview to their own.

WARNING - This worldview is not for the faint of heart. It places extreme responsibility on the individual.....

The way I see spirit world, I begin with reincarnation. I believe in it. I believe that we come back many times - at least once in each 10-day (1/3) section of each zodiac sign. That makes a minimum of 36 lives. Each 10-day section of each sign is called a "decan." Sometimes, I think maybe we have a birthday on each day of the year, including leap day (Feb. 29). Each day of the year has different zodiacal influences.

Then, we have lessons to learn. We choose the lessons we are going to learn in each life before we incarnate. By selecting our parents, our birth circumstances, and the trials we will experience (the lessons we will learn), whether good or bad; are all chosen prior to birth. These lessons may occur in any or all of the decans. So, each lesson may need to be repeated 36 times or more.

Then, there's Karma. Karma is like a balance sheet. We give and we get. What we give out, we receive back. The bad things must be righted, and the fortunate things are reapings from past giving. Good or bad, giving or taking.

Finally, suicide is terribly bad. When one commits suicide, one is not only giving up on his or her life, but is refusing to learn the lessons chosen for that life. That means that the soul will have to come back and complete the lessons. Only the next time, the lessons will be more severe. It's the price of suicide. The 2x4 becomes a baseball bat. The baseball bat becomes a girder. It augments the power of the lesson. For this reason, suicide is not an option. It is never really an option, anyway.

These conditions, begin our journey. As we live our lives, we blame others for the things "they do to us" even though we likely chose the lesson we were given. Sometimes, we may also receive Karmic debt payments (good or bad).

For instance, my parents weren't really prepared to be parents. I chose their type of unpreparedness. My mother was mentally ill. I chose to have that influence. My father was emotionally and physically distant. Then, I was abused in several ways as a child, and I chose those lessons. The abuse and life conditions gave me a certain resilience and an empathy for others.

For many years, I "blamed" other people for the things I experienced as a child. However, I've had this worldview of the spirit world for many, many years. I experienced the cognitive dissonance that blaming and my worldview - in direct opposition - produced. As a result, I've had therapy for many years, until I had a paradigm shift and things moved into alignment.

I had a "breakthrough" and realized that the blaming had to go. Not only did I have to let go of blaming, I also had to forgive myself for choosing this life.

I don't understand why I chose these lessons or what they are preparing me for, but I'm sure that it will become apparent to me before I leave this life.


Yeah, a big change in my life just occurred. I can stop resenting myself for these lessons. I can forgive myself for choosing them. I can also grow up and incorporate the lessons into my psyche. That means I can stop hurting myself with all the self-destructive behaviors I've indulged for over 40 years.

The lessons are not the important thing in our lives. What is important is what we take away and how we respond to things. I've heard it said that "what other people do to/for me isn't as important as how I react (emotionally) to these events." I believe this is true. Our emotional responses are the real lessons we take with us into the next incarnation - or into Nirvana.

 Nirvana is a kind of blissful state where we are reunited with all the parts of our spirit and god into one. It's a "final resting place," if you will...

That's it in a nutshell. I'd be happy to discuss this with anyone on a one-to-one basis. However, don't try to "convert" me to your religion. I'm over that. I won't try to convert you, either, OK?

94 Questions

I found a list of questions to ask when developing a character for writing fiction on another website (Writers Write) and thought it would be good to ask those questions of ourselves. A good introspective tool....

I will not list the questions here, since I hope you will visit Amanda Patterson's page. However, I hope you will print out the questions and try to answer them for yourself. Take your answers to your counselor or mentor or spiritual advisor afterwords and talk it over.

Questioning who we are, what we were like at different stages of our lives, what we believe, and honoring those we loved best at different times is a good way to see how far we've come (or not) in our development as spiritual beings on the planet.

A good memory certainly helps this process. And if you have parents, ask them the questions, too. You will learn a lot about your history that you probably didn't know. And the phrasing of the questions helps to flush out the family history and put things in perspective.  

Some of the questions are pretty simple...

Who do I love most? For myself, my cats are my closest companions, while I have a few people I call friends whom I've known over 30 years. Some I've known over 40 years, I consider more family than friends. Then, there are the new friends whom I've known less than 10 years. They are like a breath of air from another part of the world. But close loves? That's private, and yes, the answer has changed over time.

The foods I like to eat have also changed somewhat. I still love Italian cuisine, although I change up my sauce every so often, depending on what's in the cupboard. I also like to experiment in the kitchen. Have I always been like that? No. Although I used to bake a lot more than I do today. And my love of hot, spicy foods has tamed a bit. Although I'm still up for a good, hot salsa! The curries are less, and the chiles are more. Go figure....

Have my hobbies changed over the years? Somewhat. I am less physical than I used to be, and I miss it. I particularly miss camping and hiking. My body betrays me when I get too physical, and I end up unable to move for several days. As much as I love the great outdoors, I have to be careful anymore. And horseback riding is out, although boating and swimming are still good choices. I still sew and crochet. My hands aren't as eager for the precision work of Clones Lace, but I try.

Have I traveled? Have I lost something dear? Has fate played with me? These are questions that need answers for each of us. The lessons learned are also questioned in the list. HOW was I affected? WHY is this significant for me?  By answering that, we learn more.

There is a section on the spiritual aspect of life, too. Answer those as best you can. 

Really, this exercise, while designed for fiction writers, has been invaluable for me!

The Land of Oz?

I grew up in the land of OZ. Where appearances and faces mattered. The depth and soul was unspoken and hidden.

We had a death in the apartment building last week. There’s a truck downstairs, being the first of the next month, organizing and removing the contents of the deceased’s apartment. We had the coroner here to investigate against nefarious acts. It was likely just a fall or a death in sleep, seeing as how this building is filled with senior citizens. 

In Oz, there are no old people. The lined and wizened Wizard is the only face we see with character. All the other faces are studied, chiseled, or otherwise just “fruity” in their appearance.  The inhabitants of Oz will “dye their eyes to match their shoes” which is just like Hollywood used to be. The land of enchantment , where everyone wanted to go; the magnet of the southern California dream.  Movies, television, stardom.

There was so little of substance that a Friday night football game for the local high school was drowned in the magic of the “Opening” of the week. The critics, the press, the fame. The mile-long limousines dropping off their passengers in front of Grauman’s Chinese Theater in a long procession.  

Hollywood and Vine. Max Factor. Revlon, behind its red door. The magic of make-up and wardrobe to change the appearance of a woman from young and lovely to old and haggard for the right part. The hairdressers who changed your hairstyle or made your wigs for the part next week or the week after that. The bit parts, the extra scenery, the crowds. 

We never dealt with death, there. We never thought about the end of life. It was “poof” and the wicked old witch was dead. “I’m melting! I’m melting!” No one talked about what to do with the chair or the couch or the TV or the books. What about the beloved, old, moth-eaten sweater that her mother gave her when she had her first child 50-some years ago? Or that horrid vase that she kept as a memento of their honeymoon trip? When a star passes, their estate goes public, all their possessions are brought to light. The hidden and the well-known. 

What about the seniors in this building and other buildings like it? A few pans, maybe a blanket or quilt. Mobility devices, old and smelly clothes. Shoes that no one wants. The wedding set may still be on her finger. More likely, it’s been given away, or put away in a box on the dresser.  The rest of her jewelry will be plastic, glass and plated. “Nothing of value, here, folks. Move along!” 

But evidence of a life. Some well-lived, some marking time. The appearance of the thing is everything. A little lipstick, a comb through the hair, and we venture forth, into the public eye. The loneliness, the emptiness; these we never share, never expose to the light. Until our deaths. 

Age and wisdom aren’t valued anymore. I remember my mother lamenting turning 35, and the dating pool drying up. It isn’t about dating or mating. It’s about the wisdom of what we’ve learned that we must pass on.  When there’s no one to pass it on to? We die and the things we knew die as well. Who will remember her best friend from first grade? Who will remember her grandfather, and the stories he told? 

We lose our history when someone dies. The writers are free to change what our children learn in school. That the moon landing never took place., that the Holocaust was a joke, that WWI was fought over land, that Viet Nam was a just war.  We lose so much.  

So, when you hear someone say “Pay No Attention to That Man Behind the Curtain!” you wonder what they are talking about. How can that be? You see the suit, the trappings. But look inside. Look for the substance behind the mask. Look below the surface. Take off the make-up and see the real thing. 

We don’t live in the Land of Oz.