Spiritual Growth in Three Years...

I was baptized in Christ about 3 1/2 years ago. I was reflecting on the changes to my life in that time. I've been thinking about giving you an update on my faith journey in a written form. It's become terribly simple...

Just seek God's will first, and try to do the next right thing.

And how to know the next right thing? God wants me to be sober, happy and at peace inside. He gives me the tools, and highlights the path for me, every step of the way. It's almost supernatural - the "right path" seems to be lighter (better lit), free of debris (clear, clean), my needs along the way are constantly met in the moment. It's an incredible journey of trust, that one. I have to just step forward, like the Tarot card the fool, and trust that the universe (God, Jesus) will be there to support my steps.

My former wiccan training is playing into this a lot. It is double-edged...

By giving me the tools to trust the universe (God, Jesus) and the resistance to evil (wicca, folks who want me to practice it), I grow in Jesus. Trust in the supernatural, looking to God first, and believing that He is looking out for me, are incredible tools to pull out whenever I'm confused or down-hearted.

I'm finding this the "cross I carry," also. I was So Good/So Strong in wicca, that it's a real draw for other people. They all want to be taught, but I resist. Not so much the folks I meet today, but those who knew me before, continually coming for assistance. They want guidance and help. I will give help, but I know that the source is from God, not wicca. I won't teach wicca.

I've also had difficulties with legalism. "If one does this, that is the result..."

My biggest cross here is Sunday worship vs. Saturday. God did not give a reprieve on "Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy" when he sent Jesus to us. The pagan Romans are the ones who changed us to Sunday. The Jews and some fundamental Christian sects keep Saturday. There has never been a satisfactory answer for me on this one. I have to work every other weekend, so taking it off for full observance is not an option.

The "churches" that keep Saturday as the Sabbath are all tied up in the law, with no Grace, which was the highest blessing of Jesus. That is missing the point for me. I don't mind keeping Saturday, but add Jesus' Grace to the mix. So, this one contunues to be murky.

I have a new freedom I've never experienced before. I feel free of the constant looking over my shoulder and waiting for the next calamity. If the last 3 years have taught me anything, it's that God does not want me to fail. He's tested me, tempered me and made me strong (all in my old life) and now only wants to give me rewards.

An old meditation came back to me -

"I am sister to Jesus, daughter to God. All the tools, gifts and strengths of that position, as a Princess of the Universe, are mine to command. I need only ask (pray) for guidance and set my needs before my Father (God) and they will be met. I will not be denied."

This truly works for me.

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PS - It helps to reflect on this every so often and compare my life today to the chaos I lived in before I was Baptized. Yes, that is a turning point for me. My sobriety date and my baptism date. Both are very important in my calendar....