Sleep??? Work???

What sleep??? What work???

I've been doing all the same things I've done for years to promote a good night's sleep, but it ain't happenin'....

I might sleep 2 hours (last night) or 4 (the night before) or, if I'm really lucky, 6 hours (Sunday night).

I wake up in the middle of the night - either to relieve myself or just to turn over, and can never get back to sleep. Last night, it was a dream that woke me. A dream about my mom. OK, really it was a memory. I heard her singing.

My mom could SING! She really had a nice voice. There were other things she didn't have - like a famous name or a great head-shot. But she had the voice.

I e-mailed a friend of mine to see if there was any way to track down a tape of mom's voice, and it seemed to be a dead end.

But, of course, it was 5am before I got done and went back to bed. I'd spent the time sifting through the job ads, because one of my worries is that projection I have of me: homeless, jobless, and on the streets. Hey - it's happened before, so it isn't that far-fetched! And that kind of worry can keep a body awake no matter what.

Well, I went back to bed, and was nearly defeated by cold feet. Finally, I got to sleep, only to be woken by the alarm. I re-set it for another hour, and then got up. I have stuff to do today - like follow up on those job leads.

Besides, I arranged to get a word processor today. Free, of course! If it works as well as I hope, maybe I can access the files of my dad's sermons, or at least write some more of my stories down.

I picked up a typewriter about a week ago. I need to get a new ribbon for it, but that's all. It works fine. If I can find some ink for the ribbon that's on it already, that will be a "greener" solution. The unit can also use one of those red/black ribbons, if I can find one.

I've been waiting for the plumber since Monday. I have sewer gasses coming from both toilets, and Habitat referred me to a plumber last week who said he'd come by on Monday, but he hasn't shown up. I've called him to follow up, and reported the non-response and no-show to Habitat.

Well, I have to get moving so I can get to the employment office. The temp services don't have anything, so maybe one of the 5 I found there will work out.

Beds and Sleep

Have you ever gotten a new bed and been unable to sleep? That's what's happened to me.

I got a new bed right about the same time I came home from the hospital. I haven't been sleeping well ever since. At first, I thought it was because of the surgery, but I realized it's the bed, and I'm reluctant to deal with it... They are very expensive!

However, every time the cats jump on the bed, it shakes and jiggles, and I wake up. It isn't their fault, but I kick them off the bed anyway. And then I can't get back to sleep, no matter what I do!

I spent the greater part of last night saying over and over again "My needs are met and I'm in good health" as a mantra of gratitude. It didn't help. You see, when I wake in the middle of the night, I'm crabby. I want to sleep, naturally. I start thinking about all the stuff that's "wrong" with my life, and then I get worked up, and can't sleep no matter how hard I try. So, the mantra usually helps. Not last night. I've been awake since 4:30AM again....

On the old bed, my hips would wake me from pressure points, but when the cats jumped on the bed, I didn't notice. There was no shake or jiggle. If one of the cats decided to take a bath, I only noticed if they were touching me. Now, every little movement shakes the whole thing!

I wanted a new bed, don't get me wrong, but I'm not the universal dumping ground. Just because someone wanted to gift it to me, doesn't mean it's the right thing for me. I guess I need to learn to say no to gifts...

This bed needs to go to the trash, or the thrift store! I need a hard bed that doesn't move and jiggle every time a cat jumps up on it. And I really don't like pillow top mattresses! Whoever thought up that great idea was nuts! I have a memory foam topper I use, and it works perfectly. I just want a hard box spring and a firm mattress that isn't more than 8" tall. My sheets barely fit over this thing!

So, out with the almost new, and in with the new!

Maybe I'll finally get some sleep!

The cats will be happier, too. They will get to sleep with me again....

Neighbors

Ok, yeah, I know - it's all in my reaction...

My neighbor is driving me up a tree!

I appreciate her help during the last 6 weeks, when I was unable to do anything, and her changing my dressing - That was something I just couldn't do myself...

But I'm wearing really thin! She's my neighbor, not my friend. There's a difference...

I've been unable to mow the lawn. It got really tall, so I asked her son to mow it and we agreed on a price. He had other things to do for 2 days, my lawn kept getting taller. I'd already found another person to do it - but he finally got it done - with his mom's help.

I'd offered to the kid as a way to teach pride of work. He's got a special-ed HS diploma, now, but still can't get this concept.

Why did mom step in? Can you spell co-dependency??? Now I can see why her marriage broke up. Putting the kids before the marriage relationship breaks up a marriage faster than money troubles or adultery!!!

On top of this little episode, the kid sets his alarm for 4AM and puts it right next to the window. It wakes me up. We have 20 feet between the houses, but his alarm wakes me up. EVERY DAMN MORNING!!! I've said something before, but if he doesn't move it, I'll break it. I'm tired and I need my sleep.

On top of all this, the woman keeps coming over every day. I need my space. It's my house, and I'm tired, unemployed looking for work, and my house looks like a tornado hit it. I'm fighting fleas and just generally don't want company.

So, it all boils down to me. I need to set boundaries again. I didn't feel comfortable while building this house - I felt like she was sitting like a spider, waiting to ambush me every time I came over to work. She is a total time-waster. I got the point across then, and I can do it again.

Coffee is not the partner to sleep....

Even decaf can keep me awake till all hours at night.

I had coffee last night- decaf, but coffee. I went to a later meeting since I've had trouble lately getting to meetings. Things keep popping up at the last possible minute, and I'm kept from attending...

So, a friend and I went to a meeting last night. We had decaf coffee. We both were up till about 4am. Not the best way to get your rest, to be sure!

No way I could get to meeting this morning. I wanted to. I'd planned on it. I couldn't stand up straight or walk across the room without falling. I needed sleep. So, I went back to bed and got some more sleep.

A late start to the day, but I'll go to bed much earlier tonight. And I bet I'll be able to sleep, too.