Boundaries

I was asked about 10 days ago, for my phone number so a gal could get to night meetings. Well, she has a sponsor and all (not me) but could only get to day meetings. It got to where I she called me the night before, when I was busy, then EARLY the next morning, and when I finally called back, she never called back.

So, she didn't get to the meeting, but I did.

Call a few hours before the meeting. Don't call me first thing in the morning before I've had my coffee. Call about 11am. If I'm out, leave a message. Don't call back 15 minutes later, expecting me to pick up the phone. If I can't commit, then I probably have something else on my mind or I'm preoccupied (like WORKING).

So, I was willing to take her last night, but she never called me back. And she needed to bring paper and pen to write down other women's phone numbers. I'm not her sponsor. It is not my responsibility to get her to meetings all the time. If I'm the only person she's calling, then she is not building up her network.

But that's the halfway house policy. Call and call and call. Make the person outside as miserable as possible and drive people away from helping the girls there. Hell, they even fired me (not the girl mind you, but the house) from sponsoring a gal because I had her reading to me from the Big Book.

Once a week, I'd go and she would read to me for an hour or so. But the house had other plans for her most of the time... Graduations, shopping trips, whatever...

So she only got to see me about 3 times, then "counselor" decided I was being too hard on the girl. She couldn't read. Not even at a 4th grade level! So, I was teaching her to read while she read from the Big Book. But I was too hard on her...

I haven't sponsored anyone at that establishment since. I won't. My sponsor said I should give a little. Hell I will! I'm over 20 years sober and I never had a stint in one of these places, treatment, or anything. I'm not going to follow their rules. I don't have to.

There are plenty of girls available and needing sponsorship outside of treatment centers and halfway houses. I can't identify with their experiences. I came in off the streets and got sober, so I'm not on the same path.

And once their treatment center or halfway house sponsor is outgrown, I'm there to take them through the steps, show them how to live independently, and interdependently. I can share with them a whole range of experiences that don't include the halfway houses or treatment centers, and living through it sober.

It's the same thing as trying to sponsor women in relationships. I can't help with relationships. I can help you get out, stay out, and live free of them, but I can't help you about your relationship. It's not something I am good at, so that's something I can't share. But if a woman wants to learn how to live as a strong, single woman, I'm there and can show her.

So, the boundaries are:

1) Don't call early.
2) Don't call late.
3) Return phone calls, and ALWAYS leave your number in your message.
4) Don't expect me to be your one and only ride.
5) I don't sponsor in the halfway houses or treatment centers.
6) I don't sponsor about relationships.
7) If I do agree to sponsor someone, she has to work the steps or she has to move on. We can be friends after she does the work.

Not a long list, but an important one. And one I follow.

Ancestors, DNA and Isolation

I've been compiling my family tree so that I can take part in the Sorensen DNA project. My mother's family tree has never been explored thoroughly, and there are lots of gaps. My father's tree is extensive, and due to some family geneologists, pretty complete.

However, the Sorensen folks are looking for certain country-ties, including France. I knew my grandmother on my mother's side was from France. And she was - but there is no mother listed anywhere. I bet it's in the French marriage records, though. I just can't deal with that expense right now on ancestry.com, so I'm leaving it blank. That still satisfies Sorensen.

So, I have been completely isolating, missing sleep, skipping meals and so on to get this little "project" done before ancestry.com hits my bank account for over $70. I'm almost done. I didn't even check e-mail yesterday, and I had about 100 of them to look over this morning. I still have one account to check, so this is just a quick note to be accountable for my time.

School Term is Over

Whew! The term is over. It was momentous for me, since my disability came through and I completely lost interest in the classes I was attending, in the middle of the semester. I had a lot of trouble for about a week, keeping my momentum going. It shows in my grades. I got the first C+ since my intermediate algebra class in 1990.

One grade is still not posted, but that teacher has been late with grades all semester. I'm sure she will have it posted by this evening, which is her deadline.

I was able to re-join Phi Theta Kappa - the honors society. That will make it possible for me to be considered for some scholarships at ETSU, which is my next stop. I still have Spring and Summer classes to go at PSTCC, but for Fall 2012, I had to get stuff in order now.

Think ahead!

Liver Health

I did a liver cleanse last weekend. It wasn't near as bad as I expected it to be. I didn't pass as many gallstones as I expected, but I'll do another one in 2 weeks (right at Christmas, of course!) and that should get the rest of them. The largest one I saw was less than 1/4" diameter.

Amazingly, my cravings were immediately gone. I mean, no more craving sweets or salt. None! That evening, there was the Pathfinder's dinner, at which I ate lightly. I got a little heartburn, and I'm still trying to figure out why. It doesn't seem to be bread. I think it's butter or fats. If I don't have any fat in the meal, I'm OK. Even an apple with cheese is fine. I had some of my soup, and the bread came back on me - but that could be the garlic butter on it. A little heartburn, but not much. Nothing like what I was experiencing a week ago.

I lost 6 pounds altogether over the fast and cleanse. Not a lot of weight, but I wasn't really looking for that. I'm sure that was mostly water, too.

Cutting the cravings is a major milestone. One more cleanse, and my liver will be working more quickly to detox my body. That should make me feel batter. The other symptoms I was beginning to exhibit are also gone.

My skin isn't all that much better, but my digestion is. The pain over my liver is still there, but it's much less. My nails are gone. They will have to grow back before I can tell any difference. They were short, but started splitting anyway. They just tore off. They go through that regularly, but I know it's not right. That is a symptom of my overall health condition.

At least I'm making progress, not sitting still.

Time for me to speak up

I've been watching the "Occupy" stuff, the government shenanigans and the world economy. It's time for me to say something.

The great democratic experiment is dead.

America is no longer the home of the free and land of the brave.

It's now the home of the regulated and land of the stupid.

The only thing we seem to be good at exporting is military might - which all out "enemies" want to steal the technology from, while they are killing our people. But now, we can't even speak out about the inequities, the downright illegalities, and fraud that keeps happening in this country. So, we are now regulated and controlled. We have no say. We voted or gave away all our freedoms over the last 10 years.

Some of the stuff that happened started a lot longer than 10 years ago. But that was the turning point... 9/11. Yep, the same day we got bowled-over by "Islamic extremists."

Sure. Yeah. Like they were the ones behind it all. They were only protesting our involvement in their governments - which we had no right to do.

Now, we can't even protest our own government.

I believe the "Occupy Movement" is a growing revolution who's time is almost here. We've needed a good housecleaning for a while, now.

I may get censored for speaking out. If so, you will know. I won't keep quiet. I'll end up in Gitmo with the other terrorists.

This is all my opinion, and no, I don't really have any FACTS to bring to bear. Just read the newspaper and watch the news. Look for foreign papers and pay attention. You'll see it too.

Help Me Pick the Cover Art...

I've posted some artwork here...

http://bit.ly/Plus-WSBookPage

Please pick the one you like best. It's only the central image, and the background will be complementary to that. Leave a comment and tell me which you like best.

Both are original works, and please no copying...

The artwork is for the cover of the Mother Daughter book. I've been receiving submissions - are you ready to send yours in? The deadline is approaching pretty fast!

Whew!

I went to take the trash out Wednesday night before I went to bed, and a loose pit bull dog ran up to me, tags jingling. He was like a ghost in the night, gray all over and I could barely see him. He's a local dog, full grown, and his head comes about hip-high on me. He was friendly, but he kept jumping on me and would not go away when told to go home. I ended up abandoning my garbage about 1/2-way down the walk, and going back toward the house. The dog followed me. I have scratches on my body where he jumped on me, but no bites (Thank GOD). He wanted to come in, but I was afraid and who knows what he would have done to my cats. I pulled a chair that was sitting on the porch over and kept that between me and the dog. I went inside & closed the door securely, and locked it. I called the cops to come get the dog.

I'm buying a cattle prod. If the dog is dead on my property, what is it doing on my property? It isn't my dog!

If folks want to have dogs that can kill people and other animals, they need to keep them under control. If the dog is injured or killed while loose, it's their problem. They've lost their investment, and will have to deal. It's self-preservation on the part of the person being disturbed by the dog.

There are several pit bull breeders in the neighborhood - like 3 dogs, chained to dog houses and used for breeding full-blood pit bulls. They all have licenses. So, there are a lot of them in the neighborhood. Their dogs are chained. If this one was chained, he broke his chain - along with jumping his fence. If he ever comes back, he'll be toast.