It's Amazing!

It's now been a little over 6 months since I had regular work. No steady income to speak of - certainly not enough to pay the bills! I was thinking about school. It's just too expensive to pursue. And I was thinking about SSDI (Social Security Disability Insurance), which I may still pursue. My voice keeps going out, and my joints hurt regardless of sitting or standing. And yes, some depression has creeped in, too.

My current status:
My car now needs $200 worth of work on the front end - Right Away!..
The car payments start up again this month, after re-financing the loan...
I need to make a trip to Virginia and see my family. My uncle is elderly, and I need to see him...
I have a roommate, helping with the house payment...
I have Food Stamps, so we have plenty of food...
Food Stamps wants me to apply for work (which I've been doing all along) so I now see how much effort I really put into it...
Small jobs keep coming to me, at just the right time...

Seeing how many jobs I apply for has been an eye opener. I apply to many more than that, since I also have the agencies looking for me. There are some jobs I don't write down, because of whatever reason: for Food Stamps, you have to get a name, phone number and address, and pretty much a lot of stuff that online applications don't give you. I have the option of applying online, as long as I can show the "successful application" page and print it. And those kiosks in stores? You don't have the option to print from those... So, I keep applying. I've done the required number already, and I'm not stopping.

Yep! Small jobs have been saving the day! A cat sitting weekend here, a website research project there; a Presentation update here, some office organization there; a care-taking overnight here, well you get the idea...

There isn't enough coming in to pay back the loans my family and friends gave me a couple of months ago. Only a job, or enough of the small jobs, will pull me out of this. But somehow, I've managed.

I know that God is running the show. If I ever had doubts before, I don't now. Prayer works! In the midst of all this, I've even been able to make a small donation to my church. A very small donation, to be sure, but at least I could send them something! I figured my friends and family would forgive that small delay...

The work on the car is covered by a job that I'm in the midst of right now. There may be enough to pay off the smallest of my medical bills and put some on another - and still leave me enough to drive to my family's place.

I've wanted to have the ladies over one evening since I moved into the house, so I set aside Sept 4th for that purpose. I've planned the menu, and I'll have to get some items for the Antipasto Salad, but I have everything else in the house for the planned menu. I've invited 20 women, expecting about 1/2 - 3/4 to show. There is seating for about 16. I'll pull out the Yahtzee! and some cards. So, even broke, on Food Stamps, and in restricted circumstances, we can have a nice evening.

That will take care of next weekend, pretty effectively, and keep me from driving to Virginia on a holiday weekend. So, I won't be leaving anytime soon to go visit my family. At least a 2-week delay, I figure. I'll have to get the funds from this job, take the car in, and then see where I am. I have to have the money for the car loan put aside before I go, too. At least a good portion of it. If the small Presentation jobs I've line up work out, then perhaps the following weekend?

Well, don't stop praying...

The most impressive 3 minutes of George Carlins' Life

http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/video/video.php?v=159216125164

Watch it!!! Careful, colorful language, in the nature of George Carlin.

Been thinkin' 'bout the 'conomy....

We knew this was coming 10-15 years ago. We've outsourced jobs until the only ones left are food service and health care. If we could outsource those, we would...

Companies cut costs - period!

We (American workers) cost too much money. Between all the insurances, taxes and government regulation, it's too expensive to hire people. So, we outsourced the positions. To Canada (national health care), India (cheap and well-educated labor), and Mexico (cheap labor).

So, now you need a Master's degree to flip hamburgers at McDonalds. You can't get a job in your field because all the work is done on Elance or by some other virtual service, spread all over the globe.

Get over yourself. Hang up that damn cell phone, and pay attention to where you are pointing that death trap of a machine.

Don't bitch at me that your clothes are falling apart. When they were made in North Carolina and Tennessee, clothes lasted for years. Made in China, they fall apart in one washing. You get what you pay for.

Buy American made goods. If you want a job, you need to support the job that pays for your job. If you look at where something is made, the cheaper item is likely made in the USA, and it will probably last longer.

Stop buying at Walmart. Every time you purchase something there, you perpetuate the low-wage, and cheap, crappy goods cycle they put in place.

God's Will?

No Job yet. The job I wanted so badly, well it just didn't work out.

I went into the ladies room before the interview, and prayed that God's will, not mine, be done. That about says it all, doesn't it??? I can say that I dressed appropriately, was on time (early!) and wore makeup and was in good spirits for the interview.

Yes, I said some things in a way that could have been said better - more or less detail, if that's the case. What I heard was my ego, how great I am, coming out: not how positive of an addition I could be to their office.

Each interview, I hear what's coming out of my mouth, and I can tell exactly when the listeners turn their ears off. When it took 10 minutes instead of 30, I realized immediately that it wasn't my job. Someone else will have that honor.

Anyway, I have to believe that God didn't want me in that position for whatever reason.

A friend took me to lunch, and we caught up with each others' lives. I then came home, a little deflated, and took a nap on the chair. Part of me wanted to cry, since I'd put so much into that interview, but I didn't.

I have some things to think about - directions I seem to be getting pushed towards, and I need to meditate on them and explore them a little bit before I discuss them in such a public place.

Finally got a Roommate!

Yea! He's the one I was hoping for. He will only be here for a couple of months (unless his plans change) so the room will be available again before Christmas. But even so, that gives me breathing room. I can find out how this will work, and work on the blips.

Other news, I'm being recommended for a job that isn't even posted yet. That is a good thing. If the one I'm praying so hard for is not offered to me, maybe this one will pan out...

I picked up a pidgeon. I need that connection to the program.

Kitties are doing well, and God has been good to us so far. Keeping the faith, in any case.

Pray and Pray Some More...

The responses are coming in on the new resume. They are much more positive than before. I have some interviews coming up. Pray for me. I need one of them to offer the position to me. Pray hard!

Too Many Possibilities

I did a "Career Scope" assessment at the unemployment office yesterday afternoon. It showed some very interesting stuff, of course!

What really showed was that I'm running into a glass ceiling of sorts -- I need a Bachelor's degree to advance.

I'd already seen that in many of the positions I've applied to, where my experience was being counted as the last 2 years of college toward that degree - and I still had plenty of years left to count toward the experience buffer!

So, I figured out a Bachelor's degree again last night. Then, after figuring out it will take 3 years with full summer course loads, and not getting any break in that time, I figured out the costs...

That broke it! There doesn't seem to be any way to get around $80K to be lower. I just can't take on that level of debt at this time in my life. If I were younger - say 20 years or so, and felt I could pay it back, then I would.

But I've only got 10-15 years left to my work life. Period. That's too much debt. At this time in my life, I should be saving like crazy instead of paying out like crazy.

If I could do anything to shorten the time frame, that would help a lot. Nothing I've found can shorten it. I've tried interdiscipinary degrees, math, psychology, english, and general degrees. I've tried BA and BS degrees. I have an AS in math. I've done all the basics. With no minor, sticking with my original major, it's over 5 years. It's too much time, with not enough return.

So, after 60, when I don't have to pay for tuition, I'll still have books. But then, maybe... I'll pursue something I love and see where that leaves me at the end of life.

Maybe art or history. Maybe creative writing.

Updates...

The plumber hasn't been here yet. I heard from Habitat and checked in late Friday, so I'm sure I'll hear back from them on Monday, if not actually see a plumber this week...

One of my neighbors used the weed eater on the front around the culvert. That at least lets the rain and runoff have a way to get to the drain system. I'm not sure which one did it, but I'll be nice to both, and check around, just to be sure...

It was a dead end on the tape of mom's voice. That's a shame, really. When she died, my sis and I checked into finding her ASCAP holdings, and copyrights, and the search was more $$ than we could afford. I'll just have to keep my memory of her singing alive the best I can.

I've made another of those items I made and sent to my sis. I mailed the package last week, so as soon as I hear she's received it, I'll post the photos of the crocheted items and the pattern I've used.

The room is ready! I've posted photos and the ad for a tenant. I still have to get a real bed, but I can do that when it's rented, before they move in. I had 2 responses, and I'll call tonight.

Work is still elusive. I'm pursuing Title V this coming week.

I should get my Food Stamp allotment in the next couple of days, but that won't cover cat food. The Unemployment Office is supposed to give me a $25 gas voucher in the morning on my way out.

I don't know how to cover the car insurance or my med refills, but I'm sure something will present itself. If nothing else, I will go to day labor to get the money I need by doing whatever they present to me. It may take 2 days to get the amount I need, but if I can do 2 days this week, then God can help me with the physical pain in the evenings.

I'm turning my weight issue over to God. I can't do it alone. Now it's time for Step 4. "Embrace the process to learn about my motives" will have to be my mantra for the next couple of weeks, while I do all this....