New Month, New Possibilities...

Well, it's now September. Another month that the world has not crashed around my ears, even though my nerves are shot, and the stress is near killer-level.

Faith, that's all it is. Faith. Not mine, I'll tell you...

I think it's God's faith in me that has kept things going...

I have another interview today. It's for a part-time job. Enough $$ to keep things going, and enough time off to attend to the entrepreneurial pots my fingers are in...

Someday, before I'm old and gray, I'd like to have enough coming in that I didn't have to worry about the bills. I will be able to pay them as they come in the mail. I won't have loans, or indebtedness beyond the month's income. I'll even have savings.

Well, the only way to make that happen is to make it happen now - with what I have. Live below my means, as they say.

God's Will?

No Job yet. The job I wanted so badly, well it just didn't work out.

I went into the ladies room before the interview, and prayed that God's will, not mine, be done. That about says it all, doesn't it??? I can say that I dressed appropriately, was on time (early!) and wore makeup and was in good spirits for the interview.

Yes, I said some things in a way that could have been said better - more or less detail, if that's the case. What I heard was my ego, how great I am, coming out: not how positive of an addition I could be to their office.

Each interview, I hear what's coming out of my mouth, and I can tell exactly when the listeners turn their ears off. When it took 10 minutes instead of 30, I realized immediately that it wasn't my job. Someone else will have that honor.

Anyway, I have to believe that God didn't want me in that position for whatever reason.

A friend took me to lunch, and we caught up with each others' lives. I then came home, a little deflated, and took a nap on the chair. Part of me wanted to cry, since I'd put so much into that interview, but I didn't.

I have some things to think about - directions I seem to be getting pushed towards, and I need to meditate on them and explore them a little bit before I discuss them in such a public place.

Pray and Pray Some More...

The responses are coming in on the new resume. They are much more positive than before. I have some interviews coming up. Pray for me. I need one of them to offer the position to me. Pray hard!

Frustration - and Success!

I'm frustrated. With the IRS, my accountant, the system. I was supposed to be getting that first-time homebuyers credit, and things have delayed the funds so far out, that I can't count on them at all. Not a good thing, since they are spent - over half of it on the taxes for 2009! So, what to do??? Nothing.

Can't change city hall after all. Not unless I run for office, anyway.

Success - I've been taking the Census tests to be an enumerator at $12.75/hr. I need a job, and this is a perfect time, since I have no job and no unemployment....

Well, I kept getting the same score. Figuring it was the same section, I have been messing with the answers in that section and not really getting a better score. I took another test yesterday, and finally got the insight I needed. I'm taking it again today, and I'm confident that the 5th time will be the charm. I'll post back later, when I have the results.

The panic in my heart is about my surgery. I know I need it, but now it has to be delayed until the funds come in. I can't pay the Dr. if I don't have money. I called the office, and they are very understanding. If things get unbearable, I'll find a way to pay for the surgery. Six to eight weeks should not kill me - even if it's ovarian cancer.

On another topic completely....

How do I get from where I am, to where I want to be?

I had an interview this week with one of the call-center type places. I knew I didn't want to be there, but also know that without interviewing, I won't get a job. Period.

It was so painfully obvious to both the lady (Brenda) and myself, that I didn't belong there. It was a waste of her time, but it wasn't for me. I needed to see how far I've changed.

So, how do I get from here to there? I'm supposed to be helping folks, consulting, making websites better, improving online commerce. My coding skills are nominal, but improving. It's just the Javascript that I'm on now. I already have the HTML and CSS down. I also looked into the database stuff, for SQL, so I can incorporate the data tables on the pages. I've about got forms and stuff down. While I don't code new flash stuff, I can incorporate it. But all this is self-taught.

Thank you w3schools.org....

I'm intimidated by the folks who have the degrees in computers. I know that my experience counts for a lot, and my self-learning has put me in a position to blow them all out of the water - but I'm still intimidated by college-earned degrees.

Maybe it's a hold-over from mom...

Well, called a fellow about an interview on Monday. Maybe something will come of that...