I've done a lot of resting, and even forgot to eat most of yesterday. I keep falling asleep at the oddest times!
I packed another 6 boxes last night, after I took my bedtime meds. I ate a couple pieces of chicken when I realized I hadn't eaten all day and now was attempting to do some physical work. Amazing how I can forget to eat and still be this heavy...
Anyway, the pain in my side I've decided must be a hernia or something. The Colonoscopy didn't find anything wrong on the inside, so I'll just have to learn to live with it. I leaned in the car a couple of days ago, and it's been hurting ever since.
I cleared up the stuff in my desks last night. I organized and cleared clutter. I'm at the point of packing the most urgent items - the current bills, stamps, and so on. Most of the office supplies are packed, and all the disks and CDs.
I packed a bit more on the bookshelves - stuff I hadn't figured out how to pack before. I still don't know that it's going the right way, but the stuff is in boxes, and that's the most important thing.
I'm not sure how I want to handle the food - the flours, teas and stuff on the top shelf. It needs to be packed, but I don't want to give the mice or roaches something to eat, so maybe a plastic bin or 2? I'll have to get more of them. Maybe I should toss the flours? I haven't been able to bake for over a year. That means that all the flours, except the soy flour that I store in the fridge, is pretty old and maybe already feeding little critters.
I also need to get the attic cleared out and get rid of some items that I no longer want/need. A thrift store trip is in my future. Man! I'm so tired and the car is so messy already.
Oh yeah! That's another thing. The left headlight had to be replaced last month, now the right one is out. That's something for today that I can't put off. I put new belts, new front tires, fixed the trunk lock and the left headlight. The car still needs an oil change and front brake pads. My funds are limited right now, though, so maybe later this month?
When I get back from my "stuff" today, I'm napping! I'll get the headlight fixed, go to a meeting, and then come home - clear out the inbox, and naptime! My favorite time of day!
***
One nice thing - the fleas have given up the ghost! I'll have to spray again mid-week next week, but for the most part, they've gone. The cats have stopped scratching, and the fleas have stopped hopping onto me. It was a bad 24 hours when the cats first got their drops!
Showing posts with label packing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label packing. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Saturday, September 5, 2009
I'm Worn Out!
I feel like I've been taking care of other people's needs all week. I finally shut down last night. I mean shut down. I started refusing phone calls, invitaitons, conversations, friendships, pleas for help, and just folks saying "hi." I'm just tired out.
I feel like I've been pulled in a dozen different directions this past week. I feel like my insides are raw. I just need about 36 hours of peace.
When I get worn out like this, my boundaries begin to discintegrate, and people walk all over my needs, my desires and my life. I can't defend myself. The only defense is to check out. I saw it coming, so I didn't have to be nasty to anyone, but man! I'm so tired.
I didn't even know what day it was for several days running. I couldn't keep the calendar straight. I missed my meds one day. I had so much junk going on that I got emotional and melted down a couple of times.
Most folks don't even recognize when this is happening in me. I have such a cool, calm, controlled demeanor. I keep an iron lid on my emotions.
For instance...
I needed to do some laundry - so I packed it into the car, checked the soap and headed to the store for more. I got to the store, picked up the soap, and tried to open the trunk to put the soap in with the clothes. The trunk wouldn't open.
I drove over to my new mechanic, he took out the back seat, the bracing, the laundry in the trunk and finally popped the lock. A broken piece of plastic in the lock was the problem. So, he replaced it, put everything back and off I went.
The check I wrote bounced. I forgot about the monthly service charge because I didn't know what day/date it was. I moved money to the account, but the check didn't come through again, and now I have to track it down to collect it.
Example 2...
My landlady showed up unexpected and wanted to chide me about her air conditioner that is leaking water so bad that the outside of the building is soaked. There is mold growing in the window frame in the apartment below me. My landlady wants me to use my towels to soak up the water. I'll give you a hint - I don't have enough towels to do that for one day, much less the rest of the season. And she doesn't pay for laundry or provide facilities. But it's somehow my fault that her air conditioner is old, moldy, full of god knows what, and leaks water. Bullshit! I'm not enabling her behaviors. She needs to spend the money on the building instead of whatever she's spending it on, and replace the air conditioners. She didn't bring her keys, so I had to stick around to lock up - and I was running late for...
A friend, whom I love, hurt herself and can't drive right now. She needed a trip to the chiropractor early in the week - it was a 5 hour expedition. Later in the week, she was out of groceries, and her credit card had been lost, so she needed to pay a bill in person. It was only 3 hours, but I was late for something else, and totally forgot about it. I wandered around K-Mart intending to get cat litter, and then saw the lines. I left empty-handed about an hour after I arrived, and got home. There was a message on the machine for the dinner I'd agreed to a week ago. I'm driving, they are buying. So, I quickly cleared up the inbox and ran.
An entire afternoon blown to hell. I need to pack. I need to nap. I wake up with a headache every single day in this place. I can't handle the heat and the only A/C is the unit in my bedroom. I don't sleep well here, so I nap in the afternoon, after I've done my major bits of work. Then, I clear up when I wake up and pack till bedtime.
My schedule is blown. My life feels like a shambles. Moving is a bitch! But all these extra distractions are more than I can handle. And I need more meetings to keep me centered. Ain't gonna happen until I'm moved to the house...
Late last night, another distraction called - it was after 10pm. I told her it was too late to call. She pouted, too bad. I'm over it. That's another situation for another entry...
I feel like I've been pulled in a dozen different directions this past week. I feel like my insides are raw. I just need about 36 hours of peace.
When I get worn out like this, my boundaries begin to discintegrate, and people walk all over my needs, my desires and my life. I can't defend myself. The only defense is to check out. I saw it coming, so I didn't have to be nasty to anyone, but man! I'm so tired.
I didn't even know what day it was for several days running. I couldn't keep the calendar straight. I missed my meds one day. I had so much junk going on that I got emotional and melted down a couple of times.
Most folks don't even recognize when this is happening in me. I have such a cool, calm, controlled demeanor. I keep an iron lid on my emotions.
For instance...
I needed to do some laundry - so I packed it into the car, checked the soap and headed to the store for more. I got to the store, picked up the soap, and tried to open the trunk to put the soap in with the clothes. The trunk wouldn't open.
I drove over to my new mechanic, he took out the back seat, the bracing, the laundry in the trunk and finally popped the lock. A broken piece of plastic in the lock was the problem. So, he replaced it, put everything back and off I went.
The check I wrote bounced. I forgot about the monthly service charge because I didn't know what day/date it was. I moved money to the account, but the check didn't come through again, and now I have to track it down to collect it.
Example 2...
My landlady showed up unexpected and wanted to chide me about her air conditioner that is leaking water so bad that the outside of the building is soaked. There is mold growing in the window frame in the apartment below me. My landlady wants me to use my towels to soak up the water. I'll give you a hint - I don't have enough towels to do that for one day, much less the rest of the season. And she doesn't pay for laundry or provide facilities. But it's somehow my fault that her air conditioner is old, moldy, full of god knows what, and leaks water. Bullshit! I'm not enabling her behaviors. She needs to spend the money on the building instead of whatever she's spending it on, and replace the air conditioners. She didn't bring her keys, so I had to stick around to lock up - and I was running late for...
A friend, whom I love, hurt herself and can't drive right now. She needed a trip to the chiropractor early in the week - it was a 5 hour expedition. Later in the week, she was out of groceries, and her credit card had been lost, so she needed to pay a bill in person. It was only 3 hours, but I was late for something else, and totally forgot about it. I wandered around K-Mart intending to get cat litter, and then saw the lines. I left empty-handed about an hour after I arrived, and got home. There was a message on the machine for the dinner I'd agreed to a week ago. I'm driving, they are buying. So, I quickly cleared up the inbox and ran.
An entire afternoon blown to hell. I need to pack. I need to nap. I wake up with a headache every single day in this place. I can't handle the heat and the only A/C is the unit in my bedroom. I don't sleep well here, so I nap in the afternoon, after I've done my major bits of work. Then, I clear up when I wake up and pack till bedtime.
My schedule is blown. My life feels like a shambles. Moving is a bitch! But all these extra distractions are more than I can handle. And I need more meetings to keep me centered. Ain't gonna happen until I'm moved to the house...
Late last night, another distraction called - it was after 10pm. I told her it was too late to call. She pouted, too bad. I'm over it. That's another situation for another entry...
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Packing!
I hate packing and moving more than dishes! And I hate doing the dishes! I hate all housework. It's dumb, futile, and useless busywork that needs to be done even when you don't want to do it.
But packing! That is something you volunteer to do. You do it because you want to MOVE someplace else. Yeah - my house, I know...
I moved so much as a kid that I really hate it. I lost so much stuff over the years that I would just as soon take the important things - photos, momentos, the cats, clothes and bathroom gear, and leave the rest.
I can't do that, of course.
I have to actually pack the books, the dishes, the knick-knacks, and CDs. I have to pack the clothes, the bathroom stuff, the pictures on the walls, the office supplies, the computers, all the JUNK that I accumulate to be able to live comfortably in one place.
I have 3 computers, 4 printers, an extra monitor and keyboard. I think I gave away the corded mouse, and all kinds of other junk for the computers. I have a whole box of just computer parts and pieces. That's not including all the ink cartridges (new, as the used ones will be recycled or tossed - NOT packed!).
I used to live like a snail, in a trailer that I connected to my truck when I wanted to move. That was so much more reasonable. Maybe not socially acceptable, but reasonable. I never had to worry about packing. When I finally sold that trailer and bought a bigger one, it took 3 van loads to move the stuff over. I had no idea I had so much stuff!
I won't even go into the expense of moving, as that's a whole different world altogether. This rant is just about the act of packing and pruning. The pruning part is good.
I get to go through all the junk and decide what to keep and what to toss. I have a lot of paper around here that will get tossed or shredded. That's a good thing.
Paper is heavy. My sister and I learned that from when Mom passed. It's a big pain to deal with when somebody dies - all that paper junk. I don't know how other people deal with it, but we actually have to read it - look it over and decide what to do with it. At least we did for Mom.
I don't want my sis to have to deal with that much paper when I go. I need to clear this junk out. Not that I'm planning to die anytime soon, mind you, but it takes a good bit of planning to not leave a mountain of paper behind.
It must be all those downed trees getting even with us. The weight of the paper.
But packing! That is something you volunteer to do. You do it because you want to MOVE someplace else. Yeah - my house, I know...
I moved so much as a kid that I really hate it. I lost so much stuff over the years that I would just as soon take the important things - photos, momentos, the cats, clothes and bathroom gear, and leave the rest.
I can't do that, of course.
I have to actually pack the books, the dishes, the knick-knacks, and CDs. I have to pack the clothes, the bathroom stuff, the pictures on the walls, the office supplies, the computers, all the JUNK that I accumulate to be able to live comfortably in one place.
I have 3 computers, 4 printers, an extra monitor and keyboard. I think I gave away the corded mouse, and all kinds of other junk for the computers. I have a whole box of just computer parts and pieces. That's not including all the ink cartridges (new, as the used ones will be recycled or tossed - NOT packed!).
I used to live like a snail, in a trailer that I connected to my truck when I wanted to move. That was so much more reasonable. Maybe not socially acceptable, but reasonable. I never had to worry about packing. When I finally sold that trailer and bought a bigger one, it took 3 van loads to move the stuff over. I had no idea I had so much stuff!
I won't even go into the expense of moving, as that's a whole different world altogether. This rant is just about the act of packing and pruning. The pruning part is good.
I get to go through all the junk and decide what to keep and what to toss. I have a lot of paper around here that will get tossed or shredded. That's a good thing.
Paper is heavy. My sister and I learned that from when Mom passed. It's a big pain to deal with when somebody dies - all that paper junk. I don't know how other people deal with it, but we actually have to read it - look it over and decide what to do with it. At least we did for Mom.
I don't want my sis to have to deal with that much paper when I go. I need to clear this junk out. Not that I'm planning to die anytime soon, mind you, but it takes a good bit of planning to not leave a mountain of paper behind.
It must be all those downed trees getting even with us. The weight of the paper.
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