Partial Diagnosis and Going Forward

I received a partial diagnosis of my long-term malady on January 4th. The doctor said my adrenal glands were depleted and in the "Adrenal Steal" stage of depletion. This is why my insulin response is off, and why I put on weight so easily.

I was told about depleted adrenal glands back in 1986-7 somewhere. I took supplements for about a year and thought I was better. Apparently, that was a temporary fix.

Last week, I changed my diet completely. I'm gluten-free and dairy-free. I've spent the time since by giving away a lot of food and restocking my pantry.

The doctor said that dairy foods were aggravating my "inflammation response" which is what caused adrenal depletion to begin with.

Removing gluten from my diet will support my microbiome, which is also compromised and showing signs of "leaky gut syndrome" without going all the way to leaky gut. I have an overgrowth of H-Pylori, and removing gluten will help to reverse that.

***NOTE: 
Our microbiome is in our digestive tract (stomach and intestines, including the colon), and is a delicate balance of bacteria and yeasts (fungi). It helps to digest foods we consume and extract the nutrients.

We all have some H-Pylori in our microbiome. Yes, it can be "killed" by a special antibiotic regime. That doesn't really help us. We need this bacteria in our microbiome, as it serves a purpose. 

An overgrowth of H-Pylori can lead to GERD and Reflux. If H-Pylori is allowed to take over the stomach, upsetting the balance of yeast/bacteria - or taking over as the only bacteria, it can lead to ulcers and bleeding in the digestive tract.
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I gave 7 pages of medical history to the doctor. I skipped about 10-12 years of stuff that I thought was over and done, but HE told ME - those years and what I went through!

Apparently, it started when I was 16 and sprained my ankle. My ankle never quite healed properly because I couldn't stay off it. That was the beginning. Add all the other stuff (not sharing it online), and I've basically had inflammation going since....

WOW!!!

I have another test this upcoming week, to see if my inner ear is what's causing my dizziness and inability to walk a straight line. I sit quietly, and the room starts spinning, so I hope something shows up. I'm tired of falling over, walking into walls and open doors.

Other than that, I'm waiting for the referral to Vanderbilt in Nashville for further testing.

On to other things....

I haven't been writing much since December. I guess I'm burned out. At least temporarily.

I got a lot of resources at the first of the year about writing contests. If I hadn't posted my stories to Facebook, I could enter them into the contests. Live and learn....

I've been learning to cook a whole new way, with the diet changes. It's hard to remember to eat from all three macronutrient categories for each meal. I often forget one. So far, protein is the biggest loser.

My website is languishing. Coding up the recipes for the website is really involved. I end up typing the recipe up three times to make it work. This is my process:

• First, I type it into the recipe analyzing program. 
• Next, I code it up for uploading to the website, adding a photograph. 
• Finally, I put it in a pdf file that can be downloaded and printed.

I decided to offer my services for weddings. I'm an ordained minister, and I have a spiritual sensibility that makes me perfect for alternative couples and alternative faiths. So, why not offer my services and do something for people who need it? I set up a special mailbox and put an ad on Craigslist.

I also signed up to teach an Excel class at the local Senior's Center. Only three classes, to see how it goes. That's next month. As long as I can talk and present the information, I can still teach a little.

So, lots going on. Meanwhile....

I've been meditating and thinking about my lifestyle and my isolation. I'm an intentional, intense introvert, so being around people has to be planned and I have to allow myself to recover from every interaction. 

I want to connect with people, but it's tough. It takes a lot to open up to people beyond the surface stuff - and to listen to others. Sometimes, it feels like I'm living in a sheeple-filled vacuum. So few people think for themselves or stand on their own two feet emotionally.

Everyone is tied up in the latest political guffaw - like I was for a while. I got worn out, and re-focused my attention to my immediate world because that's what affects me the most. Then, I refocused again, to my little section of that immediate world.

We KNOW this president is incapable of running the country and is a mysoginist, racist pig. So what?

Yes, it reflects badly on the country and our people. Yes, many of our citizens are in fear and feeling insecure.

There is nothing I can do for them in the greater world, but in my little world, I can be inclusive, safe, and supportive. I can be intelligent, spiritual and compassionate, even though I'm an introvert.

Those are my thoughts and feelings right now.

NaNoWriMo and New Site Pages

Well, I only got 6180 words for Nano... BUT

I put up maybe 15 pages on the new website  No Type 2 Life . Some of the pages took coding, and since they are recipes, I had to enter the information twice. Once to track calories and macronutrients, and once for the website page. That first time wasn't checked because it went into MyFitnessPal.

Plus all the other pages. And the re-work of the breadcrumb links (linking between pages). And getting the exercise pages started. And got a newsletter issue out. OH, and the background was too distracting, so I faded it out. That took several hours of tinkering in Photoshop.

So, maybe I only got roughly 6100 words for Nano - But I wrote a massive amount. Not so bad, taken in context. AND there were three completed short stories in the Nano writing!

Grammarly checked my pages, and that showed over 31,000 words checked. That doesn't include FB.

And meanwhile Facebook has been fighting me. And the political situation has made it difficult for me to work. The Net has slowed to a crawl. And now this horrible tax bill that makes it difficult if not impossible for start-up businesses to grow.

I see where this thing can go on this. I see license distribution. I see B&M clinics across the country selling the supplements, counseling folks and teaching the exercises. I see a real change in the pre-diabetic world and the threat of obesity.

But that takes an immense investment of time and money. I don't know if I can do it. I don't know where to get the money. I have time, but not enough. I need experts brought on board.

So, over all, I've been pretty productive.

Vulnerability and Opening Up

A friend spoke up recently after an absence of many months. Apparently, he'd been going through some not-so-pleasant things,  and was feeling that he had nothing to offer. He was feeling like he was a fake because he is, after all, a spiritual leader of sorts. This was my response...

"As I get older, I find that my pain, my broken parts, my sorrows, my "less than" stuff, all prepare me to build a new part of me - to build a more defined self. Each setback forces me to grow spiritually. These are not failures - they are not "bad" but instead are the "catching points" of my life where I am feeling stuck. Or, things that I've held on to that I need to let go of. Each surrender, each letting go, allows me to grow a little more into the person I was meant to be in the universe. These things are just lessons to learn. Allowing myself to dwell on "my understanding" or "my valuation" of them, only limits them further. I MUST let go of all judgments and evaluations. I am not fit to judge or evaluate anything. I am here to do, to give, to share, to teach, to lead, to show the way, to light the dark corners, and to tell the story with different words so that others might hear it. You are never less because of your experience. You can only grow one way - wiser. Blessings, friend."

Vulnerability by Chris Lopez

I know, deep down in my soul, that I am here to lead the world. I know that I am a leader - to the next plane of existence or the next phase of human development. I don't know what that looks like, but I'm here to lead us to it. To pass us through that door into - What, exactly?

Yep, that's right. I have no idea. But I have a gift of "re-framing" things. Take a fire, a tornado, a break-up, or whatever; and I can re-frame it into a lesson we need to learn or an opportunity for something else. Sometimes, disparate things come together for me. It's the way I was made - to see these unlikely relationships and cause/effect bubbles.

It's like that story where the horse was lame and everyone said "that's bad" and then the army came through and took everyone's horses but his and it was "good" that his horse had been lame because he still had a horse to pull his plough.  The story goes on for about five more things, teaching the listeners that we have no idea what's bad or good. I know that I certainly don't have any idea.

But one thing that I've learned is that being vulnerable, allowing another to see our soft underbelly, is important for us to do. We must open up, stop hiding and stop blaming.

Like the "#metoo campaign" where people who've been sexually harassed or assaulted just come forward and acknowledge that it happened to them. How powerful it is - to know you are not alone in your experience.

When I started recovery, I thought I was alone in my experience as a child of being molested, abuse, neglect, a crazy mother and absent father.... And by listening to others, I found out that I wasn't alone, that I wasn't crazy, that there were people just like me who'd dealt with it and were moving on.

It is so important to allow others to see us. Really see us.
I used to say "If you knew who I was, you wouldn't want to know me," and I believed it. But that isn't true. Today, if you really know me, you are one of my best friends. But then, I don't let a lot of folks get that close, either... Not any more.

Remember, we don't know what's good or what's bad. Allow your vulnerabilty, and accept it. Share it appropriately so others can identify and find comfort. And grow.

We can only grow one way - wiser....

Humility vs. Passivity

I'm not proud that I'm an alcoholic. I'm not ashamed of it, either. It's just one fact of my life, not all of my life. I am in recovery. I'm not proud of that, and I'm not ashamed of it. Recovery is how I remind myself that I'm an alcholic and stay away from the first drink. It isn't something to be ashamed of, but it isn't something to be proud of either.

Some people wear recovery as a badge of honor. Others seem to allow it to become their whole identity. I can't do that. I appreciate recovery and what it means for me. I pass on what I know about getting and staying sober to those who want it. I don't waste my time on people who don't want it.
I tell my doctors that I'm an alcoholic. I don't want drugs or alcohol in my life today, so I make sure they don't prescribe something that may lead me back to addiction. But it isn't a badge of honor or a badge of shame. It just is.



I've been thinking about other stuff in regards to humility, too. Like this "#metoo" campaign on social media. It isn't a badge of honor. Or a badge of courage. Or a badge of shame. But people who've been assaulted, sexually molested, raped, and had to suffer unwelcome overtures after they said "no" clearly, are often made to feel like they are the bad guys.

I had a job once where the junior computer tech was friendly and seemed to be OK. Then, he sent me an obscene email through the company email system. I was offended. I reported it to my supervisor. I told the guy not to send that kind of stuff. He seemed to get into trouble, and was put on notice that that kind of stuff - especially through company email - was not OK.

I had another job once where the VP would come up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders. I sat in a public area but a little off to the side. I felt very uncomfortable - yet flattered. I was a lot younger, then.

Another job where I witnessed a young woman singled out by the new owner of the company. She was married, yet he would call her into his office and close the door. He had another company and moved her over there when she became uncomfortable with all of us. Later, she sued him and I was a witness.

This kind of thing happens too often. It isn't being humble when we let these people do this and get away with it. They need to know that we don't go to work to have a sexual predator fondle us or make suggestive comments to us. We go to work to support our families. To support our kids. To support ourselves. We go to work to exercise our minds. Very few women I know go to work to find a sexual liaison with their boss.

Wow - Starting a new venture

Well, I took a break from here while I branched out...

I stopped the political activities. It was personal. I got caught between three women who apparently have passive/aggressive anger toward each other. I was the vehicle used, and I didn't like it. I felt used in many ways. Glad I'm out of it. My mental health is better.

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I did a wonderful guided meditation with my friend, Juile Daley in San Francisco. It was online. I found a wonderful part of me that I'd forgotten was there. If you get a chance to work with her, do it! You won't regret it. 

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I had some medical tests that all proved nothing was going on - at least not in those areas. Still don't have any answers, but there are more tests coming.


I did about 3 weeks - maybe more - of physical therapy, but I've given it up. My balance hasn't been getting any better, so it's time to move to another form of exercise. For now.

I've found some fabulous percussion music on YouTube and since I can dance to just about any rhythmic music, I find it easy to dance to. That's exercise, too.

And of course, a 40 minute walk around walmart every so often also counts...

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I started a new venture. I decided to focus on prediabetes (which I no longer have) and tell folks how I beat it. It took me about 2 weeks to get it going and I have 18 pages now. I've planned about 88, plus the recipes - about 1100 of them.

I'm setting up a paid weekly newsletter service that will include menus for 7 days with full recipes on the website - driving traffic. The newsletter will include an exercise each week and a full shopping list for the recipes of the week.

I hope to sell some supplements and gourmet spices along with some gentle affiliate marketing relationships.

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My sister weathered the Santa Rosa Tubbs fire - at least so far. She's had a bad time of it lately, and I've been pretty concerned.