Humility vs. Passivity

I'm not proud that I'm an alcoholic. I'm not ashamed of it, either. It's just one fact of my life, not all of my life. I am in recovery. I'm not proud of that, and I'm not ashamed of it. Recovery is how I remind myself that I'm an alcholic and stay away from the first drink. It isn't something to be ashamed of, but it isn't something to be proud of either.

Some people wear recovery as a badge of honor. Others seem to allow it to become their whole identity. I can't do that. I appreciate recovery and what it means for me. I pass on what I know about getting and staying sober to those who want it. I don't waste my time on people who don't want it.
I tell my doctors that I'm an alcoholic. I don't want drugs or alcohol in my life today, so I make sure they don't prescribe something that may lead me back to addiction. But it isn't a badge of honor or a badge of shame. It just is.



I've been thinking about other stuff in regards to humility, too. Like this "#metoo" campaign on social media. It isn't a badge of honor. Or a badge of courage. Or a badge of shame. But people who've been assaulted, sexually molested, raped, and had to suffer unwelcome overtures after they said "no" clearly, are often made to feel like they are the bad guys.

I had a job once where the junior computer tech was friendly and seemed to be OK. Then, he sent me an obscene email through the company email system. I was offended. I reported it to my supervisor. I told the guy not to send that kind of stuff. He seemed to get into trouble, and was put on notice that that kind of stuff - especially through company email - was not OK.

I had another job once where the VP would come up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders. I sat in a public area but a little off to the side. I felt very uncomfortable - yet flattered. I was a lot younger, then.

Another job where I witnessed a young woman singled out by the new owner of the company. She was married, yet he would call her into his office and close the door. He had another company and moved her over there when she became uncomfortable with all of us. Later, she sued him and I was a witness.

This kind of thing happens too often. It isn't being humble when we let these people do this and get away with it. They need to know that we don't go to work to have a sexual predator fondle us or make suggestive comments to us. We go to work to support our families. To support our kids. To support ourselves. We go to work to exercise our minds. Very few women I know go to work to find a sexual liaison with their boss.