Vulnerability and Opening Up

A friend spoke up recently after an absence of many months. Apparently, he'd been going through some not-so-pleasant things,  and was feeling that he had nothing to offer. He was feeling like he was a fake because he is, after all, a spiritual leader of sorts. This was my response...

"As I get older, I find that my pain, my broken parts, my sorrows, my "less than" stuff, all prepare me to build a new part of me - to build a more defined self. Each setback forces me to grow spiritually. These are not failures - they are not "bad" but instead are the "catching points" of my life where I am feeling stuck. Or, things that I've held on to that I need to let go of. Each surrender, each letting go, allows me to grow a little more into the person I was meant to be in the universe. These things are just lessons to learn. Allowing myself to dwell on "my understanding" or "my valuation" of them, only limits them further. I MUST let go of all judgments and evaluations. I am not fit to judge or evaluate anything. I am here to do, to give, to share, to teach, to lead, to show the way, to light the dark corners, and to tell the story with different words so that others might hear it. You are never less because of your experience. You can only grow one way - wiser. Blessings, friend."

Vulnerability by Chris Lopez

I know, deep down in my soul, that I am here to lead the world. I know that I am a leader - to the next plane of existence or the next phase of human development. I don't know what that looks like, but I'm here to lead us to it. To pass us through that door into - What, exactly?

Yep, that's right. I have no idea. But I have a gift of "re-framing" things. Take a fire, a tornado, a break-up, or whatever; and I can re-frame it into a lesson we need to learn or an opportunity for something else. Sometimes, disparate things come together for me. It's the way I was made - to see these unlikely relationships and cause/effect bubbles.

It's like that story where the horse was lame and everyone said "that's bad" and then the army came through and took everyone's horses but his and it was "good" that his horse had been lame because he still had a horse to pull his plough.  The story goes on for about five more things, teaching the listeners that we have no idea what's bad or good. I know that I certainly don't have any idea.

But one thing that I've learned is that being vulnerable, allowing another to see our soft underbelly, is important for us to do. We must open up, stop hiding and stop blaming.

Like the "#metoo campaign" where people who've been sexually harassed or assaulted just come forward and acknowledge that it happened to them. How powerful it is - to know you are not alone in your experience.

When I started recovery, I thought I was alone in my experience as a child of being molested, abuse, neglect, a crazy mother and absent father.... And by listening to others, I found out that I wasn't alone, that I wasn't crazy, that there were people just like me who'd dealt with it and were moving on.

It is so important to allow others to see us. Really see us.
I used to say "If you knew who I was, you wouldn't want to know me," and I believed it. But that isn't true. Today, if you really know me, you are one of my best friends. But then, I don't let a lot of folks get that close, either... Not any more.

Remember, we don't know what's good or what's bad. Allow your vulnerabilty, and accept it. Share it appropriately so others can identify and find comfort. And grow.

We can only grow one way - wiser....