Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts

Sunday, December 4, 2016

THE EMPEROR HAS NO CLOTHES

OK. I'm a coward. I accept it. I want to die at ground zero in the first blast, not linger with radiation sickness for weeks. I don't like pain.

I don't watch news much, or pay attention to all the hate and anger in the world. Not because I am immune to it, but because it triggers so much anxiety and pain in me. I act out of fear and pain after a dose of "reality" and the news. I live as though I am the one throwing the stone and the one have the stone hit me. I see both sides. It's exhausting, so I choose to ignore as much as I can. But at the same time, I can't just condone what I see going on around me by inaction. I must stand up to things and object to things.

So, I see Donald Trump turning his back on the people who voted for him by every word and deed. We used to put people like him away. He's a danger to himself and others. Now, we applaud him - well not me, but people around me do...

So, I see a world in which a complete fraud has been perpetrated on the US of A. It sickens me. The "draining of the swamp" is instead packing it full of the very vultures who have the most to gain. They've already gained a lot.

But a fraud is a fraud is a fraud. The Emperor has no clothes. He's running around naked and everyone is acting like it's all OK. It isn't OK. Things are not right.

People like Trump used to be hauled off in straitjackets to the looney bin. That's where he belongs. He's insane.

Unfortunately for the rest of us, he is the head of the country - or on his way to becoming that.

We already have proven voter fraud in 5 machines. The seals have been tampered with and the votes nullified. All the votes. We need not just a recount, but a re-vote with UN oversight. In the four states where there is fraud, we need to do this. Not universally. Give a week for all the early voters, everybody who voted, to vote again. Three UN overseers in each polling place, and strict control of the machines.

Let's see what really goes on. Trump may not be the winner. His swamp may be drained well, yet.


Sunday, August 30, 2009

FEAR is overblown reactions to what is happening....

Yeah, there are acronyms for everything...

False Evidence Appearing Real
Fuck Everything And Run
Face Everything And Recover....


Well, this fear is an oldie...

I am terrified of the good stuff.
I'm afraid the rug will be pulled out from under me.
I wait for the other shoe to drop.

I've had so many dashed dreams, that actually achieving or receiving a good thing is almost impossible for me to believe.

This happened when my current job came to me, too. I couldn't trust that it was real. The contract was sent, the job offered, the contract signed, the training schedule in place - but I couldn't let go of the little job I had. The lifestyle is perfect, the money is great, and the work is fun. This can't be real! Right? But it is real. I still love my job, almost 19 months later.

Well, I have the same thing going on right now with my house. I'm afraid it will fall through, and I'm having trouble packing. Believe me, I want OUT of where I'm living like nobody's business.

I'm over the allergies, mess, filth, broken parts, no ventilation, peeling paint, and rolling floors. I'm over a landlady who wants me to fix her crap all the time. I'm over air conditioning that barely works and causes mold in the process. I'm over electrical issues, smelling drugs and cigarettes from the other apartments, the careless tenants, the noise, the gunshots down the street....

Yeah, I need to move.

But I'm so afraid of my new place - it's too good. It's too perfect. I have to sabotage it somehow. I have to screw up so that it will go away and I'm stuck here forever in this hell-hole of an apartment.

I KNOW my fear is irrational! That doesn't make it any less real. It's still a fear.

I can only pray, face the fear and recover through it. The more I share about it, the less power it has over me.