How am I heard when I speak to others?
Am I coming off like a "know it all?"
Or a "Grump?"
Am I critical of others?
I might just be really sensitive, but I have physical reactions to people and their comments.
Yesterday, I went to the store. I bought groceries and then went to the in-store bank to get a roll of quarters. While standing there waiting for my change, a store floorwalker/security person asked me to pay for my groceries. I went off on him - angrily stating "I Just Did!" and gave the poor guy flack. I showed my receipt and he apologized.
What did the bank teller think?
I realized within ten minutes that I'd behaved badly. I wanted to apologize, but the fellow wasn't around.
***
Where I live, we have quarterly inspections. It's actually one of the good things about this place because nothing breaks down for very long. But the manager is pretty picky about housekeeping, too.
I'm probably not the world's best housekeeper, but I'm not the worst, either. I had a mother who had her own version of "Mommie Dearest." In my case, it was being woken at 3am to wash all the dishes and pans in the house. My sister became OCD about housekeeping, while I became a slovenly mess.
That improved as I aged, but I'm comfortable in less than pristine surroundings - to an extent. I do keep the kitchen cleaned up and the floors swept. I put things away and hang up clothes. But I'm not going to worry about leaving books around or my purse out in the open. I live alone, and these things allow me to feel comfortable.
But I have a physical reaction to the manager's comments. I get angry and defensive.
I've learned that I need to absent myself from my dwelling during these inspections. I might say something in aggravation that could make life here unbearable or possibly even give her reason to evict me. It's a safety mechanism.
***
Then there was the time a woman was loudly complaining about a man she was divorcing and I mentioned that there was something she loved about him once, and to allow her aggravation and forgive herself while not tearing him up in front of their kid. The child was not present at the time.
I had heard her complaining more than once, and it seemed like she was stuck in her anger. I was tired of hearing it. While this doesn't excuse my behavior, at the time I felt I was saying the right thing.
***
So, how do our comments and opinions affect others?
I recognize that I have some pretty strange ideas and that I'm probably overly-sensitive. How do my ideas compare to others? What can I do differently?
Yesterday, I could have eaten before going shopping. Really, that's a good idea any time you grocery shop.
But how are my comments hurting others, and how are others comments hurting me?
***
In this political season, when everyone has an opinion, I've turned off my receptors online. But how do I do that offline in the real world? How do I ignore bad behavior and not react to it? And how do I stop behaving badly myself?
Comments, anyone?
Am I coming off like a "know it all?"
Or a "Grump?"
Am I critical of others?
I might just be really sensitive, but I have physical reactions to people and their comments.
Yesterday, I went to the store. I bought groceries and then went to the in-store bank to get a roll of quarters. While standing there waiting for my change, a store floorwalker/security person asked me to pay for my groceries. I went off on him - angrily stating "I Just Did!" and gave the poor guy flack. I showed my receipt and he apologized.
What did the bank teller think?
I realized within ten minutes that I'd behaved badly. I wanted to apologize, but the fellow wasn't around.
***
Where I live, we have quarterly inspections. It's actually one of the good things about this place because nothing breaks down for very long. But the manager is pretty picky about housekeeping, too.
I'm probably not the world's best housekeeper, but I'm not the worst, either. I had a mother who had her own version of "Mommie Dearest." In my case, it was being woken at 3am to wash all the dishes and pans in the house. My sister became OCD about housekeeping, while I became a slovenly mess.
That improved as I aged, but I'm comfortable in less than pristine surroundings - to an extent. I do keep the kitchen cleaned up and the floors swept. I put things away and hang up clothes. But I'm not going to worry about leaving books around or my purse out in the open. I live alone, and these things allow me to feel comfortable.
But I have a physical reaction to the manager's comments. I get angry and defensive.
I've learned that I need to absent myself from my dwelling during these inspections. I might say something in aggravation that could make life here unbearable or possibly even give her reason to evict me. It's a safety mechanism.
***
Then there was the time a woman was loudly complaining about a man she was divorcing and I mentioned that there was something she loved about him once, and to allow her aggravation and forgive herself while not tearing him up in front of their kid. The child was not present at the time.
I had heard her complaining more than once, and it seemed like she was stuck in her anger. I was tired of hearing it. While this doesn't excuse my behavior, at the time I felt I was saying the right thing.
***
So, how do our comments and opinions affect others?
I recognize that I have some pretty strange ideas and that I'm probably overly-sensitive. How do my ideas compare to others? What can I do differently?
Yesterday, I could have eaten before going shopping. Really, that's a good idea any time you grocery shop.
But how are my comments hurting others, and how are others comments hurting me?
***
In this political season, when everyone has an opinion, I've turned off my receptors online. But how do I do that offline in the real world? How do I ignore bad behavior and not react to it? And how do I stop behaving badly myself?
Comments, anyone?
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