How We Are Heard....

How am I heard when I speak to others?

Am I coming off like a "know it all?"
Or a "Grump?"
Am I critical of others?

I might just be really sensitive, but I have physical reactions to people and their comments.

Yesterday, I went to the store. I bought groceries and then went to the in-store bank to get a roll of quarters. While standing there waiting for my change, a store floorwalker/security person asked me to pay for my groceries. I went off on him - angrily stating "I Just Did!" and gave the poor guy flack. I showed my receipt and he apologized.

What did the bank teller think?

I realized within ten minutes that I'd behaved badly. I wanted to apologize, but the fellow wasn't around.

***

Where I live, we have quarterly inspections. It's actually one of the good things about this place because nothing breaks down for very long. But the manager is pretty picky about housekeeping, too.

I'm probably not the world's best housekeeper, but I'm not the worst, either. I had a mother who had her own version of "Mommie Dearest." In my case, it was being woken at 3am to wash all the dishes and pans in the house. My sister became OCD about housekeeping, while I became a slovenly mess.

That improved as I aged, but I'm comfortable in less than pristine surroundings - to an extent. I do keep the kitchen cleaned up and the floors swept. I put things away and hang up clothes. But I'm not going to worry about leaving books around or my purse out in the open. I live alone, and these things allow me to feel comfortable.

But I have a physical reaction to the manager's comments. I get angry and defensive.

I've learned that I need to absent myself from my dwelling during these inspections. I might say something in aggravation that could make life here unbearable or possibly even give her reason to evict me. It's a safety mechanism.

***

Then there was the time a woman was loudly complaining about a man she was divorcing and I mentioned that there was something she loved about him once, and to allow her aggravation and forgive herself while not tearing him up in front of their kid. The child was not present at the time.

I had heard her complaining more than once, and it seemed like she was stuck in her anger. I was tired of hearing it. While this doesn't excuse my behavior, at the time I felt I was saying the right thing.

***

So, how do our comments and opinions affect others?

I recognize that I have some pretty strange ideas and that I'm probably overly-sensitive. How do my ideas compare to others? What can I do differently?

Yesterday, I could have eaten before going shopping. Really, that's a good idea any time you grocery shop.

But how are my comments hurting others, and how are others comments hurting me?

***

In this political season, when everyone has an opinion, I've turned off my receptors online. But how do I do that offline in the real world? How do I ignore bad behavior and not react to it? And how do I stop behaving badly myself?

Comments, anyone?

Reaction to Energy Drink....

I had my interviews yesterday, and there was "no joy" after either of them. That was actually OK, since I'm not the right person for the positions, and the jobs weren't right for me. It was mutual in both cases.

However, at the second interview, one of the people gave me a sample of the products, an energy and mood-enhancing drink, in both sugar-based and sugar-free versions.

I don't drink sodas, and I don't use energy drinks. The latter just seem wrong to me for some reason. I try instead, to eat and sleep in a way that supports my body and emotions. It just seems to work better for me. Sodas just cause me gastric distress, so I avoid them.

So, I had a sample of both versions of the product. I probably drank about 1/3 of the sugar-based version. The aftertaste was still in my mouth 6 hours later, and my mood crashed!!!

I had a complete pity-party last night! NOT GOOD!!!! And when you consider that the events of the day were also "negative," I thought that I was having a valid reaction....

Not so! MAN!

Now I know why I don't use these things. It's like a drug! You want to drink more to cover or eliminate the aftertaste, and to mitigate the effects of the mood-enhancing elements expiring or decreasing. The marketing materials said the product improves or imitates both serotonin and dopamine. Who needs that???

The aftertaste wasn't totally unpleasant, but I don't do well with aspartame - there are elements of it that cause my body to have unpleasant reactions. I had those reactions, and YES, there were those elements in the sugar-based drink. There was a notice on the label, and the phenyl-based element was listed.

To avoid legal situations, I won't name the product, but I know I won't be buying it, either.

So, the upshot is that I didn't get either job, but it's really OK. The reaction to the energy drink is what I'm actually talking about today. I don't recommend them.

I know my sister used them when I saw her a couple of years ago. She doesn't sleep well, and hasn't for several years, despite medication to help. I can understand her need to use them, based on what was going on (mom passing, emptying her apartment and moving the contents to storage, my presence, etc)... But I hope she isn't using them on a regular basis.

The effects are like using a drug. Recreational, since there is no prescription available. I truly don't recommend their use. Sleep, eat well, maybe drink a cup of coffee - but don't use these drinks. Please!