This step I'll partly do here - the food part.
The emotional part will not be included here...
That part will be with a friend's guidance and I'll be keeping that part private. Any insights I find, I'll gladly post. But the deep inventory parts I'll keep private. They don't need to be broadcast.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Step 3 - Made a Decision
Step 3 says we made a decision to put our will and our lives into the care of a power greater than ourselves.
It doesn't matter what/who that power is. What matters is that we make the decision to do it.
"Acting as if..."
It helps to "act as if" I am sane again. I have to believe that there is something greater than me who is helping me to act rationally around food and my emotions. I have to believe that I can do the next right thing. I have to have faith.
"Acting" is not something I can do in my head. "Acting" is an outward directed behavior. It means that my actions show sanity - even if I don't feel very sane inside. I have to put my will - my desire to act - in the power of something greater than myself.
For me, my higher power is the 6-Week Body Makeover plan for now. The mechanics may change, the name of the program may change - but this program has a guarantee that if you do it, you will see results. I will give that a try.
I also have a more spiritual higher power. That will become apparent later as I work on the emotional component to my weight issue.
----------
I recently went through another program - not 12-step based, but very thorough. It was the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University. 7-Steps to financial peace. I'm still at Step 2, paying off the debt, but that is normal. I'm almost through it. And I have some financial peace, too! I've tried a lot of financial plans and this one worked. Anyway, the guarantee that Dave Ramsey gives is really simple: Do the program and things will change; don't do the program and things won't change. No money-back. Just that.
The 6-Week plan has a similar guarantee, but they *will* give you money back after 6 weeks.
You throw out half the materials in the first few days when you set up the book. It's so personalized, that you toss out the stuff you don't need. What's left to return?
----------
So, I'll give it the 6 weeks, and apply my "food allergies" to it. I'm putting my faith in a program that works for others.
I don't "know" that it will work for me, but I'm willing to give it a try. I've been watching this item for a while - it is a reasonable plan to me.
On to Step 4.
It doesn't matter what/who that power is. What matters is that we make the decision to do it.
"Acting as if..."
It helps to "act as if" I am sane again. I have to believe that there is something greater than me who is helping me to act rationally around food and my emotions. I have to believe that I can do the next right thing. I have to have faith.
"Acting" is not something I can do in my head. "Acting" is an outward directed behavior. It means that my actions show sanity - even if I don't feel very sane inside. I have to put my will - my desire to act - in the power of something greater than myself.
For me, my higher power is the 6-Week Body Makeover plan for now. The mechanics may change, the name of the program may change - but this program has a guarantee that if you do it, you will see results. I will give that a try.
I also have a more spiritual higher power. That will become apparent later as I work on the emotional component to my weight issue.
----------
I recently went through another program - not 12-step based, but very thorough. It was the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University. 7-Steps to financial peace. I'm still at Step 2, paying off the debt, but that is normal. I'm almost through it. And I have some financial peace, too! I've tried a lot of financial plans and this one worked. Anyway, the guarantee that Dave Ramsey gives is really simple: Do the program and things will change; don't do the program and things won't change. No money-back. Just that.
The 6-Week plan has a similar guarantee, but they *will* give you money back after 6 weeks.
You throw out half the materials in the first few days when you set up the book. It's so personalized, that you toss out the stuff you don't need. What's left to return?
----------
So, I'll give it the 6 weeks, and apply my "food allergies" to it. I'm putting my faith in a program that works for others.
I don't "know" that it will work for me, but I'm willing to give it a try. I've been watching this item for a while - it is a reasonable plan to me.
On to Step 4.
Step 2 - Ask God for Help
Step 2 is to ask for Sanity from the power of the universe. God, Yahweh, Allah, Universal Intelligence - WHATEVER!!!
Ask for help...
The step reads that we humbly ask God to restore us to sanity. That implies that we had some sanity somewhere along the way.
It also means that we can't demand sanity. It's a humble request.
Then, there's this whole question of a power greater than myself. I almost forgot how hard that is for the newcomer to the 12-step model. I'm so used to it, that it is easy for me to just bypass this part.
Some folks have no faith, or they have lost their faith, or they blame God or the Universe for their plight. Get off that right now! We take the action - we eat the food. God didn't stuff it down my throat. I put it there, chewed and swallowed.
God didn't make me ignore the feeling of fullness - I did that and gradually stopped recognizing it. I hardly ever get hungry anymore, too. I don't recognize the feeling when it does happen.
Well, lately I do, but I haven't for a very long time.
So, You have to believe in something greater than yourself so you can ask it to help you. You have to ask for faith. It works.
On to Step 3
Ask for help...
The step reads that we humbly ask God to restore us to sanity. That implies that we had some sanity somewhere along the way.
It also means that we can't demand sanity. It's a humble request.
Then, there's this whole question of a power greater than myself. I almost forgot how hard that is for the newcomer to the 12-step model. I'm so used to it, that it is easy for me to just bypass this part.
Some folks have no faith, or they have lost their faith, or they blame God or the Universe for their plight. Get off that right now! We take the action - we eat the food. God didn't stuff it down my throat. I put it there, chewed and swallowed.
God didn't make me ignore the feeling of fullness - I did that and gradually stopped recognizing it. I hardly ever get hungry anymore, too. I don't recognize the feeling when it does happen.
Well, lately I do, but I haven't for a very long time.
So, You have to believe in something greater than yourself so you can ask it to help you. You have to ask for faith. It works.
On to Step 3
Step 1 - Surrender
Last Wednesday, it was very clear to me that I eat over emotional issues. I was having a bad day at work and went to a store for candy and potato chips. As bad as my stomach has been, I just had to do that. It was clear that I was not thinking right.
I have a 12-step program background. I'll be using those to address the emotional/spiritual components of my weight issue.
If you are reading this and need to do this, I hope you will follow me - and maybe even try it yourself.
So, Last Wednesday was Step 1 - Surrender
I can't do this anymore and I have a problem.
I'm powerless over my emotions and eat because of them.
Why spend money on empty calories when I have a full larder?
Those empty calories affect my blood sugar, making it spike and putting me out for a couple of hours in a comatose-like nap. I was out for over 3 hours and had trouble waking up. That was a first. I usually wake up fine.
---------
No, I don't have diabetes, but I'm Metabolic Syndrome-X. That means that food affects me more than others. I produce an extra level of insulin because I'm insulin resistant.
You can get a blood test for this. A1-C levels tell you if you are diabetic - that's like a history of your blood sugar that they find in your blood. I don't know how it works, but that's what the doctors tell me.
My blood sugar readings are borderline-high in the morning, and low the rest of the day - sometimes really low.
----------
Ok, so I'm powerless and my life is unmanagable regarding food.
What to do about it? Ask for help...
Step 2.
I have a 12-step program background. I'll be using those to address the emotional/spiritual components of my weight issue.
If you are reading this and need to do this, I hope you will follow me - and maybe even try it yourself.
So, Last Wednesday was Step 1 - Surrender
I can't do this anymore and I have a problem.
I'm powerless over my emotions and eat because of them.
Why spend money on empty calories when I have a full larder?
Those empty calories affect my blood sugar, making it spike and putting me out for a couple of hours in a comatose-like nap. I was out for over 3 hours and had trouble waking up. That was a first. I usually wake up fine.
---------
No, I don't have diabetes, but I'm Metabolic Syndrome-X. That means that food affects me more than others. I produce an extra level of insulin because I'm insulin resistant.
You can get a blood test for this. A1-C levels tell you if you are diabetic - that's like a history of your blood sugar that they find in your blood. I don't know how it works, but that's what the doctors tell me.
My blood sugar readings are borderline-high in the morning, and low the rest of the day - sometimes really low.
----------
Ok, so I'm powerless and my life is unmanagable regarding food.
What to do about it? Ask for help...
Step 2.
Well, here goes...
I've been having a lot of food issues lately. This will seem a little strange for those unaffected, but for me, it's been hell.
I got sick about 5-6 weeks ago. It was a single cramp in my intestines in the middle of the night that started it. I had diarrhea, fever and sensitivity to almost everything for about a week. I thought I had food poisoning, but no; it was something going around in the community.
That passed, and I suddenly had no food in the house to eat! Everything made me sick again. It seems that this "illness" triggered a larger issue in my body.
---------
I am seriously overweight and have high blood pressure. Pasta and med-high carb meals put me to sleep while my blood sugar spikes.
I've had some of these problems for a while, and I've tried unsuccessfully to deal with them. I can't walk very far, of course. My poor legs are stressed if I do too much. I don't smoke - haven't for over 2 years.
---------
I've been doing a lot of food testing, and it seems that my sensitivity to milk blossomed into a complete intolerance for any cow-milk products, including cheese, yogurt, cottage cheese, and ice cream. I can still use butter, but not much of it.
Mayonnaise is no longer OK. Try going to the local burger joint or sub-sandwich place! Restaurants are a joke! No Eggs. Eggs! Who would have thought they could be a problem.
I also can no longer tolerate strongly-spiced foods.
I use stevia-based or saccharine-based sweeteners, no sugar or high-fructose-corn-syrup. I can't tolerate sodas (Coke, Pepsi, 7-Up, and so on).
Spagetti and Pesto preparations are a dream of past delights. No white bread can pass my lips. I can't even have Hummus any more....
(sigh)
Well, I'll be blogging about things here...
The BRAT diet is my first-line defense when my tummy starts up...
Bananas, Rice, Applesauce, Tea
I add consume', chicken broth, oatmeal (always good for heartburn), and some light soy sauce to flavor the rice.
I've been living on applesauce, oatmeal, rice, meat, fruit (grapes, cantaloupe, bananas), ramen soup - surprizing!, and green vegetables.
-----
I'm starting a new diet/lifestyle program tomorrow. I purchased the 6-week-body makeover plan. It has a food plan and a fitness component. They say to start on a Monday, and tomorrow is Monday.
My target is over 100 pounds. At 2 pounds a week, that can take over a year. OK, fine. It needs to be done. I have emotional components to why I got this heavy as well as lifestyle components.
I have friends to see me through, and yes, I have photos of "before" to remind me of where I started. I will NOT be posting them - I'm not dressed. Thank God for digital cameras. I can take pix of me in the all-together and no one ever sees them but my computer.
So, this little part of my Blog will be for me to write my feelings and emotional issues, to be accountable to the world, and just to keep track. I don't write in a journal much anymore. When I do, it's been 6 months since the last time. But, I'm on the internet every day. I hope this will be a little bit of tracking for me. I hope that I will be able to write the feelings out and not eat over them.
I got sick about 5-6 weeks ago. It was a single cramp in my intestines in the middle of the night that started it. I had diarrhea, fever and sensitivity to almost everything for about a week. I thought I had food poisoning, but no; it was something going around in the community.
That passed, and I suddenly had no food in the house to eat! Everything made me sick again. It seems that this "illness" triggered a larger issue in my body.
---------
I am seriously overweight and have high blood pressure. Pasta and med-high carb meals put me to sleep while my blood sugar spikes.
I've had some of these problems for a while, and I've tried unsuccessfully to deal with them. I can't walk very far, of course. My poor legs are stressed if I do too much. I don't smoke - haven't for over 2 years.
---------
I've been doing a lot of food testing, and it seems that my sensitivity to milk blossomed into a complete intolerance for any cow-milk products, including cheese, yogurt, cottage cheese, and ice cream. I can still use butter, but not much of it.
Mayonnaise is no longer OK. Try going to the local burger joint or sub-sandwich place! Restaurants are a joke! No Eggs. Eggs! Who would have thought they could be a problem.
I also can no longer tolerate strongly-spiced foods.
I use stevia-based or saccharine-based sweeteners, no sugar or high-fructose-corn-syrup. I can't tolerate sodas (Coke, Pepsi, 7-Up, and so on).
Spagetti and Pesto preparations are a dream of past delights. No white bread can pass my lips. I can't even have Hummus any more....
(sigh)
Well, I'll be blogging about things here...
The BRAT diet is my first-line defense when my tummy starts up...
Bananas, Rice, Applesauce, Tea
I add consume', chicken broth, oatmeal (always good for heartburn), and some light soy sauce to flavor the rice.
I've been living on applesauce, oatmeal, rice, meat, fruit (grapes, cantaloupe, bananas), ramen soup - surprizing!, and green vegetables.
-----
I'm starting a new diet/lifestyle program tomorrow. I purchased the 6-week-body makeover plan. It has a food plan and a fitness component. They say to start on a Monday, and tomorrow is Monday.
My target is over 100 pounds. At 2 pounds a week, that can take over a year. OK, fine. It needs to be done. I have emotional components to why I got this heavy as well as lifestyle components.
I have friends to see me through, and yes, I have photos of "before" to remind me of where I started. I will NOT be posting them - I'm not dressed. Thank God for digital cameras. I can take pix of me in the all-together and no one ever sees them but my computer.
So, this little part of my Blog will be for me to write my feelings and emotional issues, to be accountable to the world, and just to keep track. I don't write in a journal much anymore. When I do, it's been 6 months since the last time. But, I'm on the internet every day. I hope this will be a little bit of tracking for me. I hope that I will be able to write the feelings out and not eat over them.
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