9/11: Ten Yars Later

On the morning of 9/11, I was blissfully sleeping, on the west coast of the USA. I had lots of things going on, and lots of irons in the fire. It all stopped cold when the Twin Towers went down. My life was turned upside-down within a month, and I lost everything. Maybe I didn't lose my life, like some good folks did, but my way of life was irrevocably changed forever.

Consider:
To take an airplane anywhere at all, I am subjected to invasive and prying security checks by an over-zealous protective force.

My internet and telephone conversations are illegally tapped and monitored.

We have troops half a world away, constantly in harms way, for something that is an illegal police action, started by a paranoid drunk and his buddies.

The news revels and recounts each death of the "enemy" and topples foreign governments without provocation.

We have a financial system in crisis, and we still can't move past whose fault stuff is.

All this in response to some terrorists blowing up a couple of buildings. Meanwhile, the political leaders who over-reacted are allowed to go free, when they deserve to be tried for High Treason and War Crimes.

What else but War Crimes would you call racial and religious profiling of a certain sect, in the Land of the Free, only to send them to a prison camp on foreign soil, to be tortured by foreign governments, under the flag of, and sanctioned by, this government?

What else but High Treason would you call lining your pockets from war mongering while still in office, while leading the country into a war for a personal vendetta that we still fight ten years later?

Make no mistake - The terrorists achieved their objective. They destroyed our way of life, and therefore our beliefs.

They won. We lost.

My personal battles are nothing compared to the greater losses this country has suffered, but that doesn't lessen the loss and grief I feel. I have NO intention of "commemorating" the date. I feel sick that some folks want to line their pockets from this. They should be ashamed.

A moment of silence, a single candle burning, the tolling of a bell, that's all that should happen. Not this media frenzy.

And let us cry. Stop telling us what to feel. Stop waving the flag. Let us feel our pain and move on. Let us mourn our dead. Bring home our troops and get them working again.

Stop pointing fingers. Who cares? Just get the job done. That is the American Way.

Supplement Removal Experiment...

While I said earlier that removing the supplements was interesting, it hadn't been enough time yet to really see the difference...

Well, the only thing that seems to have been making a difference is the Triple Flex for my joints. My joints are all swollen, sore, and feel stiff. My knee is terrible, so I know that Triple Flex works, no matter what the ads say. For me, it works. So try it yourself if you have joint pain.

Otherwise, I haven't seen any difference. It's been 2 weeks. My urine is a light yellow, barely any color at all, but I drink a lot of water. I still don't sleep at night, and the hot-flashes are no different than if I was taking soy.

I sleep about an hour at a time, most of the time. I guess that's my history of napping taking it's toll.

The B-vitamin group made no difference at all. The pre-natal vitamins made no difference at all. My gut is still doing what it does, and I have more pain in my spine than before, is all. But who knows if the pain in my spine is from the supplements or from the Triple Flex?

Oh well, I guess I'll go back on that and leave the rest up to God...

I hate tooth pain!

Tooth pain sucks! I know I need to see a dentist. I've known it for a while. My tooth needs to come out. Actually, I need about 5 pulled right now. I'm holding on as long as I can till I can have it done. Meanwhile, lots of clove oil...

Nope - and Yep

OK, I'm NOT sleeping!

Again, about 3 hours last night. I got up in the middle with a "brainstorm" and had to check the computer. I went right back to bed about 20 minutes later and finally fell asleep for that 3 hours.

Removing the vitamins and supplements has been an interesting experiment so far. I'm very unsteady when walking. I didn't realize how bad I was getting. So, I'm using my cane. It doesn't help a whole lot, but folks are more aware of my being in the area, so they watch for me (solicitously). Right now, that's a good thing.

Other things -

I've noticed the "butterfly rash" on my face even when I'm not overheated or have been exerting myself. So that's a pretty clear indication that the diagnosis is correct.

The joint pain is really a lot worse. My knees - even my good knee - hurt like the Devil!

I seem to be gaining even more weight, but I don't understand How! I'm eating a well-balanced, calorie-controlled diet, and yet the inches increase noticeably. My bathroom scale doesn't show an increase, but my clothes are tighter.

I had another sore in my mouth over the weekend. It healed quickly.

My memory feels much worse. I can remember long-term stuff, but I have no words for it. I have the memories, but no way to convey them - does that make sense? And short term memory is a joke!

And the bruising is back with a vengence! I'm covered with bruises that I don't know how I got them. I take one 81mg aspirin each day in the evening with my meds. It's prescribed. I take no other NSAIDS because they all have such bad side-effects. I barely take a Tylenol when I ache. I'm more likely to take a shower to ease the aches and pains.

I'm also having transitory chest pains. I don't know if I should go to the ER or not. They don't seem related to activity, so I tend to ignore them.

My skin is a total mess. The rash on my face is really bad right now. It got that way during school this summer and it has not cleared, yet. I want to make more of the white willow bark solution to use on my face, but I need more of the bark.

So, yeah, this is what it's like to have Lupus and be undiagnosed. We "know" it's Lupus, OK. We just don't have the blood test results to prove it till after Friday. That's me and my Doc - together, we know.

School commentary

Well, it's started for me - Fall semester!

My first class, that looked to be a real drag, might actually be fun. That's technical (business) writing...

Accounting is a real pain - I want the Tues/Thurs morning class but it's full. They don't have waiting lists anymore, so I'm stuck in the Tues evening class unless I can quickly react when somebody drops after the morning class tomorrow. We'll see...

The last class, Excel - it looks like I'm missing a book but I won't know for sure until class tomorrow - just after noon.

I'm enjoying it more than I expected so far. I just wish my body would cooperate. It hurts, I'm unsteady on my feet, and I have NO energy at all.

I'm stopping all the supplements for a check-in. I have my blood test for Lupus on Friday, and since I've been taking Pre-Natal vitamins for over 2 years, I decided to stop them and check in with my body. My nails are as thin and flimsy as ever, my complexion is a real acne mess, and I'm exhausted all the time.

I'm sleeping, but it's broken. If I take a sleeping draught - whether benedryl or melatonin, I wake groggy for at least 4 hours. The difference is that with benedryl I sleep 12 hours and with melatonin I sleep about 4-6 hours. How much time do I want to spend asleep?

So, I'm stopping all the vitamins - the pre-natals, B6, Biotin, Calcium, D3 and chromium piccolinate... I want to see how my body is truly assimilating food and nutrients. I wonder if maybe I've had too much supplementation and that my body is just flushing everything through.

Not taking the Triple-Flex is really affecting me already. My joints are so weak and wobbly without it. My knees hurt more today than ever and I've only been off it for a day.

Well, the blood test on Friday will show some interesting results, no matter what. The cholesterol, liver function and Lupus... I wonder what else it will show???


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