NO MORE!!!!

I'm pissed. I'm pissed at publicly traded corporations who only have their bottom line in view.

I'm suspending all services and business with publicly held corporations. This includes Google, Yahoo!, Comcast and others that might be in my life. I'm fed up!

I'm tired of making the big guys rich while I struggle. If you are with me, cancel your gmail account, your yahoo account, and your comcast account. Go to the library and use their internet, it's paid for by your taxes already.

This post is for the other 99%

Story is Completed!

YEA! I got the story done. I'm not completely satisfied with it, but it's done.

My deadlines are April 24, for the story version; and the screenplay version is due on May 3rd. Both are done. I finished it all last night, including figuring out "whodunit" and getting the article back to the original.

My characters could be stronger, there could be more plot complications, the character arcs could be better, but for a first time attempt, it's not bad at all. And it's certainly more than I ever could do before these classes.

I still have to do the "beat sheet" for the screenwriting class, but I re-did the logline/premise, since the original story was so reworked it no longer fit the old logline. And I'm not all that sure about the title.

But who cares! It's done!

I couldn't have done it without the classes, professors, and the most supportive writing environment I've ever known. This is not to say that all writing environments are hostile, but in my experience, editors can be notoriously critical. Are these efforts worthy of publication? In a small way, yes, but in the true sense of the word, I would never inflict this on a reading public. There are holes and incongruities all through it. One character is so weak and wimpy I'd sooner kick her butt than admit I wrote her that way. Things happen and she doesn't speak up or react at all. What a wimp! My villain is not evil enough, and my antagonist is supposed to be more evil but is only kind of evil. The whole thing has holes, like I said.

But to be able to write over 30 pages of fiction - ME! What a concept! What an accomplishment!

Perhaps, one day, I'll go back into this story and work it through. Maybe I'll take the characters and put them through their paces and make them "real" in my head. Maybe I'll fix the holes in the plot. And I have two other stories I wrote in my 20s that I'd like to put through this same process.

But for now, I'm walking away, glad to have made it this far. The sense of accomplishment is enough. The knowledge that I gave it all I had to give at the time is enough.

For now, I need to step away from school and clean the house, do laundry, and really scrub this place down. I have to clear out cat hair, cat puke, dust and body powder. I need to de-flea and deodorize the place. I need to open the windows and let light and air into the house. I need to work on my yard before the city does the lawn.

Yep, my life needs some attention, and I have a few weeks before summer school starts. I need the time.

And for now, I'm going to enjoy the feeling of accomplishment. I've done the work my teachers wanted me to do. I've completed the assignments. Both my classes were more of a "complete the projects" than getting test-as-you-go grades. Just turn in the work at the end of the semester for grades. So, I'm pretty much guaranteed a decent grade in these classes, which will help with GPA.

And I learned quite a bit. I'll be forever grateful to my professors. Edward Francisco has quite a few credits to his name, including publications and teaching. The other, Rob Lloyd, has a different list of credits to his name, in television news and gameshows, and scripts. Both are experts in the worlds they inhabit. To find these men at the junior college level is amazing!

Oxford and Gannett, both represented at Pellissippi. We are truly blessed.

Exposure Dream

I had a horrible dream where I was staying with family someplace in a large room. The room grew a lot during the night, for sure! When I woke up, there were several more beds, and a crib. And there were men in the beds!

I had to get up and get dressed, and men kept popping up every where. I even had a little girl open one of the doors wide!

The room had doors at both ends, and a curtain (open) at one end next to a door that led to the living room.

I felt so exposed.

Of course, I tossed all the men out and covered myself so I could get dressed. So, I took control in someone else's house.

A dream of control and exposure. Just like me, I guess - showing me my foibles once again. I have an amends to make...

Struggling with Story - Grateful for Recovery and School

I've been writing a story for my classes this semester, which is "genie in a box" style, and have a good start with 25 pages for the screenplay, and nearly 38 pages for the manuscript. However, the point of view is skewed. I thought my "heroine" was a certain person, but she's so weak, so meek and so stupid, I just can't go there. The other woman in the story is also not the heroine, since she's pure evil. I've decided to write the story from the chauffeur's point of view. He's a relatively present character, and I think I can turn his character arc into something that works.

What a tangle! I'm still converting the screenplay into a manuscript. When it's done, I'll go back and do the POV to pull the story together. It's a "whodunit" as well as "genie in the box" so it can be an entertaining read - if I ever figure out the thief! Yep, even I don't know whodunit...

At least not yet. I have suspicions, but it will all come to light at the end one way or the other. Considering this is the first full story I've written in a long time, it's kind of fun to see how it all develops.

I'm a much better writer for these classes this semester. I'm thankful I took them, even though they don't really count toward anything in my degree. I've learned something from every class I ever took - even the ones I didn't need for the degree I was pursuing. I think education is valuable for it's own sake. The more you learn, the better you can relate to your world - even if the class doesn't seem to relate - you will learn something.

For instance, I've learned a lot about myself and my history during this semester. Stuff started "gelling" about my history and I found words to describe things that I experienced that had no words before. I realize what happened and why I got embroiled in them. As a result, I've found forgiveness for my foibles, strength of character, and respect for myself that I didn't have before. That just can't be a bad thing!

I also found more forgiveness for those around me.

I guess this is all a part of maturing toward 60, but somehow, with my history, I don't think I'll ever feel 60. It's amazing I made it past 13!

Meanwhile, my home group continues to struggle with Tradition 2 - and what the oldtimers mean and how things should be run. It's a grueling and scary process for us. The tolerance levels are higher since the group conscience, but I find myself more pissed off than ever. I write about it nearly every day. I got myself on the "committee" for change and evaluation. All of us want a good strong home group, all of us respect the traditions and expect change - even when it's scary. All of us have over 20 years. I think I might have the least sobriety (at 20+ years) on the committee, and I've been in the group the least amount of time. The other members, Jim, Cindy, Mike and Doug, are all folks I respect a lot. Jim, Mike and I are the most widely traveled, and Jim beats us all by thousands of miles!

So, knowing that life changes, that my character arc is building into something that makes sense, and coming to the end of another semester, it's all playing out in my life.

Summer classes are two web-based classes - one a psychology, the other history. The psych is the last of the writing for a while, and the history is the last of the core requirements for Tennessee. Starting August, the Women's Studies courses begin, and I have decisions to make - whether to pursue the Appalachian side of things, literature, or history. I'm so drawn to history, but the literature is also important. I think you have to have both to truly understand what's happened to women in history. To put together the story of women.

I want to teach this stuff, so a blending would be really nice.

Cell Phones - Again

Well, I finally gave up on the cell company I was using. The phone I had for a while and actually worked, stopped working one day. The screen just gave up. They sent me a new phone, and transferred the minutes. I had to re-program the phone with numbers and such, but it actually had a camera on it and seemed like a good phone. Until it stopped working.

I called the company and they said to take out the battery and then put it back in and try the phone. It turned on. So far so good. It kept going off. I kept having to take out the battery and put it back in and turn it back on. The month turned over and I didn't get my monthly minutes, so I called them.

Strange calls started coming in when I got that new phone, too. I'd get these calls from a 503 area code all the time. I never could catch the caller, but the messages were all from some kind of sales or marketing outfit. I'd ask one to stop calling and another number would start. I reported them several times to the DoNotCall website, but they just rotated. I never had calls from these numbers before - only on this phone. I just ignored them as much as I could. They wasted minutes, though, which pissed me off.

One time, the phone was actually on because I was using it that morning, and I forgot to turn off the ringer, and it went off during class. Of course, it was that damned marketing company and by the time I actually answered it, they were gone.

Well, my last call to the cell company was a nightmare. The idiot on the phone kept me on the line for over an hour and I had to leave for the Dentist. I had an appointment, and I had to leave. He just kept saying I needed to stay on the line.

Finally, I just set the phone down and left. Screw him!

I came back, 4 hours later, and the phone was still live. He'd continued to have me holding all that time. What a creep! And I never heard back from them. They never sent me the phone replacement I requested, never a call back to see how things were going, nothing!

So, after another month of dealing with it, I charged the phone late last week. I unplugged the charger and set the phone on the table. The next morning, same thing - no signal, no nothing. The phone was turned off and would not turn on. I took out the battery, put it all in a box and sent it back to the company.

I enclosed a letter telling them to cancel the service. I'd either do without a phone or find another carrier.

This is why I NEVER give out my cell number. I can't keep a phone more than 6 months. Why bother? When someone needs to call, either they will get my answering machine or the cell. That's just the way it is. I forward my home phone to my cell when I'm out overnight.

Well, for a few days I'll be without a cell. No biggie. I've been without one before. I'm shopping the services. Who has roll-over minutes? How much is the service for what I need? What services are available for how much? Stuff like that.

I don't want ANY advertisers, I don't want junk text messages. I don't want to talk to anyone about who I want for President, or what I think about some political issue. Just leave me alone. I won't tell you anyway.

Do. Not. Call. My. Cellphone!